| Start: | Sep 1, '05 6:00p |
| Location: | TieLing City |
Thursday, September 1, 2005
Proud to be Pinay
I just have to write this down. Maybe I can sleep a little better after.
Something happened tonight that's been bothering me. At dinner, a woman in her thirties was telling me that she knows a lot of Filipinas working in a bar. She asked me how much I'm earning (which I did not answer). Presumably, she was thinking I might want to work in a bar owned by her boyfriend and earn lots of money. That's not really such a bad thing. She was possibly genuinely concerned about providing me employment. Except that the way she was saying this (and I had a body language expert beside me then. Hey, are you reading this? 
I'm very much aware of the poverty in the Philippines. It'll be very hard to ignore in a small country with probably more than half of the population earning barely enough to get by. But having lived a fairly sheltered life, one sometimes puts all these in one's peripheral vision and focus on something less depressing. It's just too easy.
I remember a discussion once, after our MFA playwriting class watched "Last Order sa Penguin", Bevz complained that it was all about middle-class angst. I was quick to disagree. It couldn't be just the middle-class who worry about getting old and thinking that nothing's happening with their lives. It's a valid fear, I argued. I was probably 21 at that time and I was worried that I'd grow old and have nothing to show for it. But I do know what she means. How can one think about the future if you don't have food on the table here and now? Because back home at this very moment, there are families who are wondering where to get their next meal.
And that could lead to a lot of different solutions.
It just got me to thinking about what other people think about the Philippines and the people in it. I come from a country that's known for producing domestic helpers and nurses and teachers as well as prostitutes and criminals. I come from a country whose people want better lives for themselves and their families. That's what it all boils down to.
I'm one of the lucky few. If there's anything I am truly grateful for that my parents have ever given me, it's providing me with the best education I could possibly have. And I know not everyone can have that. I left my country because I wanted to see what's beyond my safe little shell. For some Filipinos, there wasn't that much of a choice. And I respect that. I admire them for all the sacrifices that they're making.
Proud to be Pinay. With that, I go to sleep.
Wednesday, August 31, 2005
More musings
Now's a good time to write. For one, I'm not in a very sociable mood, and that's always nice for writing.
For the most part, I enjoy being here. Maybe it's because I've been here for such a short time and I haven't seen all the scars yet. Sometimes, I get a little scared just thinking about how I would feel six months from now. I wouldn't want to be too jaded. By this time, I can say that I know the city enough to be able to describe it as more than just "a big Chinatown". And that's still not good enough.
There are also times when I wonder what I got myself into. I like the place. I like the people. Work's ok, usually. Being in a foreign country can be a little taxing though. At times, I feel so helpless and that can be very frustrating. I can't even order anything in a restaurant. I have to either have something written down to show the taxi driver where I'm going, or call a friend to have him/her talk to the driver. It's convenient but after a while, it can make one feel like a complete idiot.
And I don't enjoy feeling like an idiot. Nobody does, I suppose. But I just have to say that so I could put more emphasis on it. I don't think I could ever put enough.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
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