Delight in Possibilities

There is something about the
year 2007 that makes me optimistic. True, the start of every year brings (or at
least is supposed to bring) a refreshed feeling of shedding off all that was
detested in the past year, waking up with all the promises of getting to start
anew. It allows a person the hope that the new year will also be a start of
something good, something better than the last, something grand and pivotal for
one’s life. If anything, it gives us the excuse to try our damned best to look
forward, forgive ourselves of past mistakes and be able to delight in the
possibilities of the future.

And then you reach a certain
age and realize that it’s all an illusion. What’s the big deal about new years?
It happens every year anyway. It’s just another day and no amount of
polka-dotted clothes and coin-jingling can make it more important than any
other day of the year. In fact, it’s to be feared because it signals another
year added to your age while everything else remains the same, if not a change
for the worse, in your life.

It’s very much like the first
day of school. You go to school excitedly with your new bag, almost new shoes,
maybe new socks, possibly a new hairstyle and (if you’re lucky and have
outgrown last year’s uniforms) new uniforms (probably a size or two too big for
you so you can still use it until you graduate). You meet some new classmates and
mostly old ones who have their own sets of new things that are a lot better
than yours (mostly because theirs really are
new) then you start feeling low and hope that nobody notices the hand-me-down
textbooks from your elder siblings. Nevertheless you make the most out of it
with all your notebooks wrapped in plastic cover, fragrant and creaseless in
their newness. The sight of the long newly sharpened pencils and perfumed and
colorful eraser is enough to make you want to do well in school and end the
year on the top honors list. So you promise yourself that and listen intently
as the teacher introduces herself and the class and you make a mental note of never
yawning in class because she hates students yawning while she’s lecturing. And
you’re raring to start taking notes in the best penmanship you can muster but
then somewhere along the school year you forget all of these promises and your
notebooks are filled with scribbles and your now-not-so-new bag is sticky
inside because of the juice that leaked when you brought your baon one time. Not
to mention that all your notebooks are permanently orange-stained and the lines
smudged at the edges after the juice has dried. And you can’t find your dirty
nauseating eraser so you now borrow from your seatmate every time you misspell
words, which is often. And you wish the school year ends. Fast.

But there is something in the
year 2007 that makes me more hopeful than usual. It could very well turn out to
be one of those boring years where nothing significant stands out. I could just
be waiting for it to end by the time September rolls in. Or earlier. But maybe
one also comes at a certain age when she learns to appreciate the unknown and accept
that erasers will get lost eventually but all those notes she took still count
for something. Perhaps it has something to do with all the astrologers (both
Western and Eastern) predicting good fortune for me (a Capricorn and a sheep,
monkeys are lucky too so even if I turn out to be one, ha! Still safe!) this
year. Maybe because I am finally working on my novel, a dream I have had since
the beginning of time, and thus the possibility to finally have a book
published is within reach. Or it could just be that I’ve grown tired of
cynicism and have decided to be happy and positive for a change.

It’s been two months since
the year started. At the end of 2007, I’ll reread this entry and either be
sorely disappointed or smile at a promise granted.

Novel page count: 118.

Meeting Friends, Old and New

If I'm not locked in a room writing, or in front of the computer catching up on my cyberlife, I'm usually out with friends learning the fine art of socializing.

Dateless on Valentine's

Because I was dateless on Valentine's (and who the hell cares about the day anyway it's just an over-hyped commercialized day when traffic is ten million times worse and yes I'm bitter), I did the next best thing.... I attended my little cousins' school's foundation day celebration.

And that's my baby on top of the pyramid!

My Take on Issues of National Concern or Ranting on a National Level or Thought Bits on a Lazy Day

There was a time, about a decade but what feels like several
lifetimes ago, when one needed only turn on a faucet and water came out of it.
In our barangay in Gen. T. de Leon, Valenzuela
City, water faucets are
mere ornaments, a reminder of something that used to have a specific
function—that of bringing water into our homes just like in most civilized
places. Gone were the days when residents could shower in their bathrooms. Now,
we have to wait for rain to enjoy droplets of water falling on our faces. Somehow,
our local officials must have a very romantic notion of wishing wells and maybe
even doing the laundry beside a stream, for why else would the water problem
never have been addressed through all of these years? I have no problems with
mayors seeking adult fun on the internet as long as my needs as a citizen are being met—no I’m not talking about my needs in the adult fun department but
a more basic need—that of clean running water in my bathroom when I want it and
when I need it. Is that too much to ask? In the coming elections, I will be on
the lookout for the candidate who will be able to assure me of providing my
basic needs. See how low maintenance I am? Basic needs! That’s all I’m asking!
Jeezus! (No, this is not on the national level but think of it this way: if it happened to us, it could happen to you too...)

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What is Benjamin Abalos still doing in the COMELEC? Hasn’t
he proven enough of his incompetence in the previous elections? But then
perhaps it is precisely his incompetence that enables him to stay as the
COMELEC chair.

**********

On a similar note, what’s the point of having elections after the "hello garci" incident?

**********

Richard Gomez wants to run for senator. Hahahahahahaha!

**********

Question: If a Filipino soldier/corporal/whatever were
convicted of rape in the US,
would he be under the custody of the Philippine Embassy in the US?

***********

Gretchen Barretto should never open her mouth. There are
times when I would like to submerge myself in the illusion of absolute beauty.
The illusion shatters once she starts talking.

**********

Finally, an update on the novel. 100 pages and counting. No
nosebleeds, but I'm going crazy. Wait, I already am
crazy. I’m going crazier. I'm hoping to be done with my first draft by mid-March. What, are you telling me the whole nation is not at all interested in my progress with the novel -writing?

La Union Vacation Jan 2007

One weekend, Lolit, Jing, Nuna and I packed our bags and headed to Lolit's relatives' place in La Union. Because I had been writing for three days nonstop and was already having nosebleeds probably from all the stress, I decided the weekend off would be just the break I needed.

It was great. I can't even remember the last time I was on a beach so this was a real treat for me. Plus I haven't had nosebleeds eversince that trip so I think it served its purpose. Hehehe!

All of these pictures are from Jing's (http://jingr.multiply.com) camera.

Other pictures from our trip can be found here: http://thejonastory.multiply.com/photos/album/52

Novel Writing Induces Nosebleeds

Nowadays when people ask me what I do, I say I'm a “novelist” with a straight face. Sometimes I add “fulltime” before the “novelist” to increase the shock factor some more. At other times when I do not feel the need for shocking people, I just say “writer” and most just nod understandingly.

Because I think of myself now as a fulltime writer, I feel the need to be writing fulltime. No room for excuses now. Thus, when all the partying from the holiday and birthday seasons died down, I locked myself in a room I borrowed from an aunt that was approximately a hundred meters from where we lived and started writing. For three consecutive days during the first week, I was writing for eight full hours a day. I did not even allow myself afternoon naps except for the third day when I could hardly concentrate and make the words on the computer monitor stand still. It was the most productive time ever in my writing life.

During those three days, I was able to write 45 pages of my novel, including the hard parts. The ones I had been worrying about since the idea of the novel first entered my mind. The ones I did not know whether I will be able to write at all. While the novel still has a long way to go before I can finally let anyone else read it, I feel that I have already let out many of the vital scenes in it and this has brought me a deep sense of relief. My novel-writing mantra seems to be proving itself true: It’s hard but it’s not impossible. It’s going to be written.

I do not know the process by which other writers write but I’m a very emotional writer. When I write nonfiction, for example, I am known to weep while writing heartbreaking, at least for me, parts. I will have to pause from typing because I will need a minute to hug my knees tight, sob a couple of times, then breathe slowly to collect myself. I will write some more then repeat the whole process when I get to another scene where the tears will just start falling. I was a bit surprised with myself when I started crying during the course of writing my novel. And not from sheer exhaustion. I get goosebumps and shortness of breath but I do not remember ever crying when writing fiction.

So I cried and felt good so I cried some more. I wrote some and I cried some and I felt good some. And then again I am reminded of the reason why I persist on writing, why it has always been a part of my life, and why it will always be a passion.

The next day, the third day of my 8-hour days writing spree, my nose bled profusely. While it was not particularly very hot these days, my nose bled a bit the night before that while I was brushing my teeth. I did not think much of it and blamed not drinking enough water and snacking too much on junk food while writing so I vowed to drink more water and minimize my junk food consumption. On that third day when it bled a lot, I finally mellowed a bit on the writing and allowed myself the half-hour afternoon nap I felt I finally deserved.

And so after three days of hard work, I and my friends took a three-day out of town break to La Union. We ate a lot, we slept early, we breathed in fresh air, and we frolicked on the beach. To cap my three-day vacation, we watched “Kawil” at the new PETA Theater Center in New Manila, QC. It was good. :)

When I turned off my computer last night, I had, and still have since today was spent fulfilling my internet needs which I suppressed for weeks, 68 pages. Hopefully, I’ll reach my 100^th page mark on the second week of February. I hope to be able to complete the whole thing by mid-March.

No nosebleeds again, please. No time for it. That’s not part of the plan.

Pictures of the La Union trip are here: http://sanapakaininmoko.multiply.com/photos/album/120

Traditional Post-Christmas/New Year Celeb @ Ces'

Cecille was in town for the yearly tradition of spending the Post-New Year celebration at her place. These people showed up...

(pictures from Cecille's and my cameras)