"Writing is Easier with Computers"

Nenet, 7 years old and is always teased for not knowing how
to read yet, came to my room to see what I was doing. I had my manuscript
beside me as I played pinball on my computer. He looked at the thick sheaf of
papers and asked, “Ikaw nagsulat nyan? (Did you write that?)” Proudly, I said,
“Oo, ako nagsulat lahat ng yan! (Yup, I wrote all of those!)” He then leafed
through the one hundred or so pages of the manuscript and said, “Ah, sa
computer. (Oh, you used the computer.)” Having an idea where the conversation
was headed, I looked at him suspiciously and said, “Sa computer ko sinulat, oo.
(I wrote it using the computer, yes.)” Quietly, as if talking to himself,
“Mabilis lang pag sa computer e. (It’s easy to write using the computer.)” I
knew more than to argue.

Why do writers never get the respect they deserve? Now let
me go hide in the corner until all you bullies have left.

Driving My Novel

12 April 2007

These days I divide my time between
practicing my driving and revising/rewriting my novel. And because I
am one of those people who like relating certain things in her life
to make them a coherent whole, I have been thinking about how the two
things are the same in concept.

For several mornings now, I would be
found in the driver’s seat, taming a wild green beast to abide by
my instructions. Go right, damn beast, and slowly, s—l—o—w—l—y
stop. There, there. My father tells me that it is all about control.
I should know where I’m going then learn to control the beast so it
could go where I will it.

I have long ago already diagnosed
myself with having a problem with my motor skills. This is the only
reason I could come up with for my eternal clumsiness: bumping into
inanimate objects, dropping glasses and things breakable, tripping on
my own feet. I never learned to dance. Any kind. I do not play any
sports despite my best efforts to try and live up to my “athletic
built.” I could never coordinate the arm movements with the leg.
Somehow I could focus on the arms and do it perfectly, or the legs
and again do it perfectly, but put them together and I’d be a
complete mess. In truth, I am just grateful that PE classes ended
years ago.

And so knowing all these things about
myself, I have mentally prepared myself for long and grueling hours
to train my arms and legs to work in coordination. It has to be done.
The beast has to be tamed and conquered for it to serve me. And I
will be served.

In the afternoon I sit in front of my
computer, taming words and images and thoughts and emotions. I will
them to listen and obey. They are beasts of my own doing and I have
to guide them to go slowly lest they hit something so precious that I
could not bring back to life. And so I have to be careful with words
as with cars.

Taming of words is something that I am
more used to. It is graceful dancing at best and trying not to trip
on one’s own feet at worst. It is making an effort to not be clumsy
in handling one’s characters in various situations lest they get
offended and all run away. It is being aware of what lacks in each
scene and how to go about filling it, just like driving is being
aware of all that is happening outside the comforts of the
air-conditioned car and how to go about responding to them.

It is ten years now since I first made
a vow that mine will be a writing life. I still bump into imaginary
objects more often than I care to remember, get stuck, break things
that shouldn’t be broken. I have not yet stopped learning the
maneuverings of words, putting them together so as not to come up
with a complete mess of a story. I have accepted that it will be a
life-long process. I will have to coordinate arms and legs and entire
lives of people who breathe and hurt and weep in my mind even as I
eat and sleep and weep in my own life. It is like feeling the
steering wheel in one’s hands again for the very first time every
time in every story. My novel feels like a journey that I started
with much excitement feeling its immense power tingling at my
fingertips, and yet that same power scares me with its very
potential. Its destination is still unsure until the last word has
been written. But I will get there.

It is perhaps no coincidence that I
should meet with my thesis mentor on the 9^th of April,
Araw ng Kagitingan. I needed all the kagitingan I could muster to
finally discuss my most ambitious literary undertaking so far with
the man who would be the judge of its worthiness. This beast of a
novel that I have been wrestling with for some time now and still
won’t let me rest. After pointing out some inconsistencies, a
number of unclear matters, technical issues, my mentor answered most
of my questions with, “It’s up to you. It’s your story.” I
whined but I knew that I will have to do the taming myself even
before the questions were out of my mouth. He tells me I should know
where my story is headed. That’s the only way I can control the
beast and let it be what I will it. Everything is in my control,
after all, as long as I know in which direction to steer.

Short Term Plans

I did not meet the deadline I set for myself. I was supposed to give my mentor a copy of my manuscript last Saturday. Except I couldn't. Suddenly, there were so many things I wanted to add and revise and edit. So there's a new deadline. This week. That's a promise.

And while the novel is being scrutinized by The Great One, I will be working on a number of other projects not related to it:

1. coming up with a compilation of flash fiction that I discussed with Adam Mordo of The Man Blog.

2. conceptualizing a short film with Jason Tan (aka larryboy).

3. attending my Mandarin class every Sunday morning in Binondo.

4. learning how to drive c/o my dad.

5. starting to keep my eyes and ears and nose open for jobs. If you know of anything that you think might interest me, holler.

So so far, those are the plans.

EDIT: 6. organizing a speed dating event with long-time friends Anna and Dan. This will be exclusively for Fil-Chi's, at least for now, so if you're interested or know anyone who's interested, let me know.

Popol's Milo Moment

Popol is my cousin's son. He recently won a gold medal in a teakwondo competition. For some reason, I couldn't edit his gold-medal-winning fight so I had to settle for this one, which is during the elimination round.

He's the one in red armor.

Rant: Stupid People Should Not Be Made to Answer Phones

One of the many things on my list to learn in the next few
weeks is how to drive. It has actually been there for years but I just kept
putting it off. So finally, this morning, before I parked myself in front of
the computer for another round of writing/editing/fidgeting (you get the
picture), I took out the white pages, looked up “driving” and sure enough,
there were dozens of entries just waiting to help me be on my way to road
independence. I first called up Socialite, knowing at least two people who
studied there, and was quite pleased with their packages. They have a branch
along Rizal Ave.
which is not too far from where I live.

Before I decided to go with Socialite, I called another driving
school. This one is nearer my place and being lesser known, I figured they
might have cheaper rates. Here is our conversation:

JC: Mag-i-inquire lang tungkol sa driving lessons. (I’d like
to inquire about your driving lessons.)

Grace Driving Institute rep: Driving lessons?

JC: Opo, meron po ba? (Yes, do you offer that?)

GDI rep: Oo. San ka manggagaling? (Yes. Where are you coming
from?)

JC: Valenzuela. Bali
magkano? (How much are the lessons?)

GDI rep: P1800 ang 5 days. (P1800 for 5 days.)

JC: Ah. Ano pang ibang meron? (Are there others?)

GDI rep: Ha?

JC: Meron pa bang iba? 7 days? 10 days? 15? (Are there
others? 7 days? 10 days? 15?)

GDI rep (impatiently): Ano bang gusto mo? 5? 7? 10? (What do
you want? 5? 7? 10?)

JC: Pwede ko bang malaman yung presyo ng lahat? (Can I know
all of the prices?)

GDI rep (said curtly and fast): 5 days, P1800. 7, two-five.
Tapos, three-six. Ok?

 
Then she promptly hung up the phone. Needless to say, I was
very irritated. And this was right after I had a very pleasant talk with the
representative from Socialite who was giving me all the information even before
I got the questions out of my mouth, and was very polite in answering my
additional and not very usual queries. I was tempted to call back and give her
a piece of my mind but then I remembered that I’m a blogger, thus I possess
boundless power over stupid people of the world. What I really did was take out
my laptop and allow my irritation to flow through my fingers.

Minus one student for Grace Driving Institute. And because I’d
like to think that I’m influential to at least five people, and those five
people are influential to five people each… Ha! Do the math, people.

Beware of bloggers.

 
Novel page count: 132

Arrest Gloria

This is my first tibak event in years.

Basically, it's a concert/poetry reading that revolves around the topics of 1. unseating GMA, 2. calling for a peaceful and honest elections, and oh, 3. world peace. It gathers artists and cultural people alike for a night of words and music as we ponder on freedom and/or the lack of it.

It was fun, except I felt a bit cheated because I was waiting for Conrado de Quiros to speak, as promised, but noooo! No Conrado de Quiros onstage! Hmp. Oh well.

Socializing. Again.

Had lunch with my high school best friends, then dinner and a sort-of pool party with d'barkads. :)