This is the first time in many years that I will not be going to the cemetery with my family on All Saints' Day. I've been feeling sad about it for days and needless to say, I can't really do much about it. I can just imagine the preparations going on at home now. Akoh must have taken care of the food they'll be bringing, Papa must have put the tent in the car by now, Sakoh will be arranging and rearranging the flowers, Nenet and the other kids will be so excited they'll have a hard time getting to bed.
I was explaining Halloween to my students today. I also told them about the Filipino tradition of visiting the graves of departed loved ones and how this occasion is as much for the living as it is for the dead. Looking at it from that angle, the dead provide the opportunity for the living to just be with each other, and in an almost ironic way, celebrate life. It is a good time to be with the most important people in one's life amidst the confusion of everyday living.
Well, if I'm sad about not being home for this day, Akoh and the people back home must be feeling worse. It seems like everyone's leaving home. My eldest sister, Janice, left for New York last Saturday. Jona is currently in Bangkok shooting a documentary and won't be back until the 3rd. I wanted to call home tonight just to let Akoh know I haven't forgotten what day it is, but I wasn't able to buy phone cards. Sigh.
But most of all, I miss my Amah, the one person in my life who's probably responsible for my sanity. It's been fifteen years but there is no day in my life that I don't think of her and hope she knows how much I love her. I dedicate this entry to her.
hey girl, ure a writer? also a Filipino? we love talking with writers. i used to be a college writer myself and dreamt doing real journalist stuff but hey landed as an engineering practicioner. howre you kid?
ReplyDeleteYup, a writer and a Filipino. I'm not such a kid anymore though. Hehe. I took up Literature in college and am taking Creative Writing for my Masters. I'm supposed to be writing a novel now, for my thesis. Except I've been too lazy to actually sit down and write.
ReplyDeleteyup, a-ko's feeling bad. news before i left for bangkok was, brocx won't be coming along and sammy and family might go on their own. so it's down to her and sa-ko. and you know how sa-ko can be...
ReplyDeleteand i miss a-ma too. and angkong. :(
Called her this morning. She said "kami-kami lang pumunta" but did not elaborate. She was more interested in the news about my break up. Haha, si Akoh talaga.
ReplyDeleteito lang?! ito lang ang post mo na nandun ako?! aba. hmp.
ReplyDelete