The biggest challenge about being unemployed is the discipline to stay unemployed. Let me clarify that. I have yet to finish the second draft of my novel and I vow to finish it in a month. (The second draft, we have a long way to go until the final one.) Still, there’s always the temptation to find a job instead. And typically, finding a job is what a normal functional member of society is supposed to be doing in between jobs, thus I have to constantly remind myself that I am unemployed for a reason. I do have to find a job but it just has to wait a few months. There is of course that voice in my head still shouting, almost hysterically now, “Ayokong maging dukha!” making it even harder for me to not run frantically to the computer and start sending my resume to every other employer I can find. It’s no joke how I convince myself each day that jobs will be there even after I finish my degree and I need only to be patient so I can finally start looking for them soon.
yupyup joni. you need to focus. you can do it! :)
ReplyDeletei don't think i have any real advice to you, because i've never truly attempted anything as ambitious as a novel. however, as someone who was unemployed for unbelievably long stretches i truly sympathize. not having money sucks. i sometimes console myself by thinking about the strong friendships i've made during those times - there's nothing like friends who were there during the bad times. i'm sure you have these people around you now.
ReplyDeletewhat i can tell you is this: magpakapal ka na ng mukha at tanggapin mo na ito na ang buhay mo. this means you will really, in an embarrassing way, rely on the support of others. you will need your friends and family who perhaps in your own estimation have suffered enough or have supported you for far longer than you think is right. you'll need them some more, and that you really don't see the end of it. accept that this is your life, and that this is their life while you're with them. they have a choice too, and this is your offering.
getting this, will set you free. i think writing will come easier. after all, there are no massive chunks of new material that's asked of you in your succeeding drafts. now is the time to cut and prune and make beautiful.
i look up to you in that you've dared further than i have (in terms of pursuing writing or the arts). here's to your novel!
Thanks, Jing!
ReplyDeleteMike, that's a very sobering thought. I would like to believe I would be able to find a balance of some sort. What's really scaring me is the thought that after all the time and effort that I put in pursuing a literary life, I might not be able to deliver as well as I should.
balance is a worthy goal, most certainly. just finish your draft and graduate. that's the best thing you can do for everyone right now.
ReplyDeletehahaha! jons, i totally agree w/ u, ang isa pang challenge is the temptation to spend especially when ur cash flow has been cut-off. so here's to unemployment, but hopefully not for long though =)
ReplyDeletebuti na lang i got you a racket hehehe :P
ReplyDeletei am terrified of being penniless. *shudder
ReplyDeleteum, i think that didn't help nuni.
...
oh well. hehe.
Waaaa! I can do this. I will do this. *takes a deep breath. It will be done.
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