Still the First Day of the Year

The day hasn't ended yet, and so hasn't the madness.

I planned on spending the whole day just chilling at home, sleeping and surfing the net. That would have been good. At around 10am, one of my aunts called to ask how I was. Pretty good, I said.

"Is it very cold?"

"Yes. Very, very cold. Super cold."

"So you're just home alone?"

"Yes. I'm chatting with Achi Janice."

"Ok. Does your dad call you."

"We chat sometimes."

"Also with Joyce?"

"Yeah."

"You haven't seen the baby yet, have you?"

"Only in pictures. And when we're chatting. Through the webcam."

"Does Francis call you?"

"Um, haven't you heard? We broke up."

"What?! No, I haven't heard."

"Oh ok. We broke up."

"You broke up before you left?"

"After two months..."

"You have a boyfriend there, don't you?"

"I don't."

"Then why did you break up? He's very nice."

"We just decided that it would be better for both of us this way."

"Who broke up with whom?"

"It was a mutual decision."

"He didn't want you to go and you insisted, right?"

Now how was I supposed to answer that? What, is it my fault now? No, I suppose he didn't want me to leave. I wouldn't have wanted him to leave if the situation were reversed. But I wouldn't have stopped him, just as he didn't stop me.

I mumbled something nobody could understand. Not even myself.

"Why? When are you coming back?"

"I don't know. Next year? Oh wait, that would be this year. We're still very good friends. We still send messages to each other."

"You're too stubborn. He's a very nice boy."

Sigh. I knew it was going to be my fault. My whole family loved LB. I couldn't blame them. Of course he's very nice. I wouldn't have fallen in love with him if he weren't.

After the phone conversation, I resumed chatting with Achi Janice. I quizzed her on the contents of my site to make sure she was reading everything I posted. It's an old game. Back home when I told her stories and I felt she wasn't listening, I'd start giving her an oral exam. So far, she has passed all my tests. Hen hao.

Fast forward to around 5pm.

Phone rang. My adopted JieJie invited me to dinner. I tried telling her that I was too tired to leave the house and I wanted to sleep. I'd just go and see her on Wednesday. She laid the guilt-trip. It wouldn't be the New Year on Wednesday. I want to see you tonight. It's the first day of the year. Blah blah. Being the push-over that I am, I said ok but I'd go home early, xing ma? (Do you agree?) "Xing. Ba dian huei jia." (I agree. You can go home at 8.) "Ba dian, xing." (8pm. Ok.)

So I went to this dinner in her restaurant. She owns/manages (I'm not so sure which) a restaurant that's about a 15-minute walk from my place. When I got there, there were her ex-husband and about six of his employees. I had to drink bai jiu, literally meaning white wine, with everyone every few minutes. Bai jiu is the devil in liquid form. The last time I went out drinking with JieJie and her friends, I was so drunk I went home weeping. Zhen de. That was also the first night that it snowed so I just sat outside my building for a few minutes just watching and experiencing the snow. Depressing, in a way. Now I personally know why winter is the metaphor for death in so many poems.

Tonight, JieJie got so drunk that I think she forgot I was there. I wasn't so sure what exactly she was saying but I could tell she was annoying the other people at the table. At one point, ex-hubby left and one of the employees got ex-hubby's things for him. This was the signal for all the other employees to put on their coats and leave. She was trying to stop them without much success. I was just watching the whole proceeding. I knew that the employees' loyalty was to their boss but I couldn't just leave my JieJie that way, could I? One of the men gestured to me to put on my coat as they were about to go out the door. JieJie was following them. Okay. So I put on my coat, which took me a long time because I had to put on my jacket first, then my coat. By the time I went down, almost all of them were in the cars. I waved just to be polite and say bye. One of the men told me to get in so they could bring me home. I got one foot in when another man (the one driving, so I guess he owns the car) said I should just take the taxi home. Now that was rude. I said, "Mei shi." I didn't intend to go with them anyway. So I got back out and told the nice man that I'd just take the taxi. He said he'd take the taxi with me and bring me home. I certainly did not want to bother anyone. Hell, I did not even want to leave my house in the first place. I said mei shi several times and said I could go home by myself, thank you very much. He said, "Mei shi. Wo xong ni huei jia." We couldn't find any taxis and I said, "Mei shi. I could walk by myself." I said that in Chinese, I wasn't sure if he understood me. Anyway, he insisted on bringing me home. Finally, we got a taxi and he brought me home. He said "Wo xong ni shang lou." The last time a guy brought me home and walked with me up the stairs did not end very well so I just said, "No need to do that. Thank you so much. Zai jian."

So now I'm typing these words and I'm feeling more depressed than ever. During the ride home, the nice man asked if I get homesick. I said yes. Hell, he has no idea how much I want to be back home right now.

I hope the rest of the year won't be this crazy. Maybe I should go and watch something funny now.