PuTongHua Update

I've been in China for a little over five months now. Yes, my PuTongHua has improved considerably, mainly because I'm using it now. Back home of course, it would never occur to anyone to actually talk in PuTongHua, except maybe as a joke.

I tell people that one of the reasons that I came to China is to be forced to speak, therefore learn, the language. However, it is also very much possible to be here for years and not speak a word of it too. It would have been so easy to always have someone to go with you to buy things, pay the phone bill, or maybe have someone else do these things for you. You'd be surprised at how many people are willing to help. These, obviously, are suicide when it comes to learning the language. Of course it wouldn't hurt to ask a friend's help from time to time. But it's also advisable to just go out there and start talking to people. And not in English.

I am, of course, at an advantage when it comes to learning the language. I did not come here with a blank slate. Twelve years of Chinese education should inevitably leave a mark somewhere somehow. I've actually been thinking about it a lot these days. People are thinking that it is phenomenal that I learn Chinese so fast. Um, no, I had a twelve-year headstart.

From Kindergarten to High School, I was subjected to around three hours of Chinese classes every afternoon. And it wasn't just PuTongHua (it used to be called GuoYu. I found out a few days ago that GuoYu is what they call PuTongHua in Taiwan. Hmm, we've been influenced by Taiwan more than I thought.). It was PuTongHua and everything else the school could find a teacher for. Imagine learning Geometry and Trigonometry in Chinese. Imagine reading about current events in Chinese. Imagine learning Chinese history in Chinese. Imagine reading Chinese literature in Chinese. Imagine memorizing poems (and everything else, actually) in Chinese. Imagine writing compositions (zuowen) in Chinese. Imagine singing songs in Chinese! We also had Computer and Speech classes in Chinese! Wow, even I'm overwhelmed. Yes, all these and more if you study in a Chinese school in the Philippines.

How was I able to survive all those? The answer is I wasn't. Not really.

No, I never got to learn Trigonometry in Chinese because I failed Geometry which was being taught in third year. (Come on, it was hard enough learning it in English!) And because I did not attend summer classes (it was summer!), I had to repeat my third year Chinese. Trigonometry was being taught in the fourth year. Therefore I was a senior in English but took the afternoon classes with the younger batch, which was actually the most fun Chinese class I had. And Chinese classes were never fun. Ask anyone.

So I never got to graduate in Chinese. Ironically, look who's in China now? I'm sure this is someone-up-there's idea of a sick joke.

Tweleve years is still a long time (having graduated or not), the question is how come I know very little Chinese? Of all the things that I had supposedly studied, my brain has retained maybe less than 5%. That's because I never really studied (that's why I didn't graduate :p). Come to think of it, nobody really studied (hmm, how come they graduated?). Chinese classes in the Philippines were hell (I don't know how they are now. I sincerely hope they have improved). You were asked to memorize everything. As in everything. I wish they'd just let us study Chinese history and literature in English, then I would probably still remember something now. The 5% that are still somewhere in my brain are, I'm guessing, the things I learned in Kindergarten and early grade school. I was still trying to be a good student at that point.

Wait, I think I have an idea on how to improve it. The earlier generation of Chinese in the Philippines had Hokkien/MinNanHua as their mother tongue, therefore when GuoYu/PuTongHua was being taught to them using Hokkien/MinNanHua they were able to easily understand and learn it. Our generation would have benefited more if we studied these things in English, and maybe just a little MinNanHua. I need your opinions on this, fellow survivors. The even younger generation is not at all fluent in Hokkien/MinNanHua anymore. I don't really know what to do with these kids except maybe get rid of the current affairs, Math, etc., and really just focus on the language. And not just the language but the everyday use of the language. More like our Speech classes before. Come on, who's going to talk to me about right angles and coefficients here?

While I'm reflecting on my Chinese education, I'm also trying to compare how I learned PuTongHua in the Philippines to how the Chinese students here are learning English. I think everyone will agree that PuTongHua is definitely harder to learn than English, but it's still a foreign language to them. And when I say foreign, it really means foreign. And I'm not just talking about the language here. Sometimes, they seem to be totally removed from the rest of the world.

**Funny story: During my first month here, I was walking home with my students and they were asking what I like doing in my spare time. I told them I like reading, writing, surfing the net... One student was very surprised and asked me how good my Chinese was. Not very good, I told her. She said, and I paraphrase, "Then how are you able to use the Internet?! Everything's in Chinese!" She was very serious. She did not think there were websites in English and all the other languages. She did not think there was a world outside of China. And so I tried to explain, and I was not so sure if she understood, that you can actually find a lot, so many that I can't even fathom (no I did not use that word), of websites that are not in Chinese. She still looked at me doubtfully.

Whew. Going back... They've also been studying English for a long time, just as I spent almost half of my life learning PuTongHua. Once they step outside the classroom (even before) however, they'd naturally go back to speaking in Chinese. Sounds familiar... And no matter how many times I tell them to speak in English with each other, they don't. Maybe they forget. Maybe they just think it's too much of a bother. Maybe they're shy. And I've been through all those. I can understand. Perfectly. Sigh. I tell them, watch English movies, learn English songs, and talk talk talk in English!

Of course I have to follow my own advice. I've been listening to a lot of Chinese pop songs. I especially like watching them in videoke, that way I can see how the characters are written. I'm already on my third Chinese song. I can already sing the first one even when I'm sleeping. The second, I need to have my copy (with all the zhuyin, again a Taiwanese influence on us) in order to sing it. The third I have to have my copy that has romanized pinyin (although yes, I am definitely more comfortble with zhuyin) and I'm still finding it hard to unknot my tongue as I try to sing it. But I am making progress. And it is fun.

Random Thoughts

I just finished writing a long entry but something went wrong with the stupid computer and everything disappeared. Grrrrrrr! I hate it when that happens. I feel like strangling the computer except I know it won't do any good. Aaaaaargh!

I have not been writing. I've been too busy and tired for the past week. And I must admit I've also been very lazy. Putting it off for a long time makes it even harder to write again. I just don't know where to begin now.

I've been reading Karina's journal and I got inspired by her posts enough to make me want to write at two o'clock in the morning. That girl (ok, woman. You have to forgive me but sometimes I still think of you as the freshperson you were in my LITERA1 class years ago) has grown up to be a smart, articulate and philosophical intellectual. I feel underservedly proud to read her entries and realize that here is a woman who thinks and feels and knows how to live her life. I humor myself into thinking that I have somehow, even just a tiny little bit, been responsible for some of her thoughts about life. I'm sure she'd still be the same great person that she turns out to be even if she never met me but it just warms my heart to know that she was once my student. It's a teacher's conceit. Once again, I apologize.

I have been feeling down lately. It might be because I've been really tired. All the late nights must be catching up on me. One night, I psyched myself up about calling my sister back home only to get really disappointed because the call just won't get through. My friends and I have tried every way possible just to make that one phone call, to no avail. It felt even worse because it should not have been that big a deal. I felt bad making my friends worry about me for nothing.

Speaking of disappointments, one of the biggest disappointments of China is the mooncake. We recently celebrated the Mid-Autumn Day Festival and there were mooncakes everywhere. I've eaten quite a lot of different kinds but I must say that absolutely nothing compares to Ongpin's mooncakes. Absolutely nothing. Some are okay. But a lot of others are what-the-hell-you-call-this-a-mooncake-it's-just-hopia-back-home. And to think I should be in mooncake heaven by now. We must be importing those mooncakes from Taiwan and Hong Kong, then. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

This will read like a chain reaction kind of entry but speaking of Taiwan, I met a man who was actually born and raised in Taiwan. I've been out to dinner with him and some friends a couple of times. The first time, I got so messed up I puked so many times I couldn't even keep count. The second time was tonight and I must congratulate myself because I can still type as fast as I normally would. This man is the only person I've met here so far whom I can actually speak Hokkien with and it's just wonderful. My Hokkien is definitely below average. I've forgotten most of it since I haven't been using it that much but I've always referred to it as "the language of my lost past." There's just something about it that takes me straight to my childhood. It rattles something deep within.

In my class today, I was asked the by now familiar question of whether or not I like China. Of course the standard reply is yes, I love it. Which is true. But what surprised me was my saying that I consider China as my second country, my second home. I've been feeling this way even before coming here but that was the first time that I actually put it into words and released it to the universe. I adore my Angkong and I wanted to come here to see his people and his country. Of course China is way different than it was during his time. Still, there's something about knowing that the blood that runs through my veins is as much Chinese as the next person's sitting beside me on the bus. I may be Filipino in all the other aspects like the way I think, act and speak, and I love it, but there's always that part of me that still is Chinese and there's no way of denying that.

I love the Philippines and it will always be home, no matter how many times I complain about everything that's humanly possible to complain about. I love it so much I wept while I was watching Dr. Lumbera's "Hibik at Himagsik nina Viktoria Laktaw" just about the time they raised the Philippine flag towards the end. That was really embarrassing because I could imagine a fourth of the people in the theater staring right at me while I control my sobs. That being said, I just might have found a place away from home.

It's been a bunch of mixed emotions lately. I wish I could explain it better. Let's just say that there are certain unfortunate events that have transpired. But the good things far outweigh the bad. And if you know the bad, you would say I'm stupid for saying these things. But just trust me on this one.

Now I'll go and watch a sappy romantic movie. That would make me feel better. Of course I'd probably fall asleep halfway into it. Time check: 2:49AM. Still, I'm in the mood for a chick flick now. Sue me.