The Tragedy in Tiananmen

Much has already been said in the 20 years since the Chinese government’s heavy crackdown on a series of student-led demonstrations in and around the area of the Tiananmen Square in Beijing. A good part of my past month or so had been spent digging up those materials, reading and watching everything I could find about the events leading to June 4, 1989, the day when tanks rolled in crushing bodies underneath them, and the military fired at the protesters made up mostly of unarmed students and workers. Until now, 20 years after, the death toll remains a mystery. The Chinese Red Cross initially reported that 2,600 died, but retracted allegedly under pressure from the government. Some journalists estimated that the number could be as high as 7,000. The official tally, however, concluded that less than 300 died and 7,000 were injured.

(To read the rest of the entry, click here.)

Biting into the China Cake

I am taking a break from writing my special report on China's social unrest to retain my sanity. At least whatever's left of it. If you remember how it was back in school, two weeks before the final paper is due, then you'd have a fairly good idea how I feel every time. At best. Because unlike being in school where you have the whole term or at least half the term to fret about what to write, I have all of two weeks. And my heart would beat even faster as the days start passing me by...

As if that wasn't bad enough, I now also write special reports on top of the regular reports. It's like another term paper, only the deadline is more flexible. But not too much because then it would never get written. That's what I'm doing now: making sure it gets written. But then what's so special about it is that its scope is usually wider and the information more detailed. So I'm trying to work those in, aside from just getting it written.

The sense of intimidation emanates from the fact that I have only quite recently started serious reading of Chinese affairs. Every time I approach a topic, I would have at least 30 pages of research (font 9 because I want to save as much paper as I could) to read through before I can confidently convince myself that I know enough of it to write a credible article. And that's still only little crumbs of a much bigger cake that is China itself. Five thousand years of civilization! Can anyone blame me for feeling inadequate? I am always just trying to catch up at best.

And so everyday I calm my nerves enough to take a little bite and chew what I could handle. Never mind that it terrifies me to read about, we're not even talking about writing yet, inflation and how the yuan's rise impact the lives of both foreign investors and ordinary Chinese. Never mind that I didn't even know where Tibet was on the map previous to the riots that erupted there in March. Never mind that I could not identify more than half of the African countries China is now dealing with if not because of an article I had to write about the Sino-African relations.

And then comes the confession. Some masochistic part of me enjoys this biweekly torture. Maybe precisely because it reminds me of school. Or maybe because I am genuinely interested in the readings, except more often than not I wasn't made aware of their existence until I was already chewing on them. Or maybe I really am just a masochist.

And so break's over. Time to cram for my term paper due tomorrow.

Happy!

This morning, I took an online quiz over at Facebook to determine what one word best describes me. Surprisingly, the test told me that I'm "happy." So maybe I am.

It must be right because just last night as I was walking to the terminal, there was an undeniable spring to my step while I hummed a toneless tune that I invented on the spot. I would have swayed my head from side to side but my little song number already had people looking at me funny. It was then that I realized that I had finally and completely gotten out of the dumps of my most recent heartbreak. Happy!

So I got home and was greeted with the new modem box that promises unlimited Internet access where we only had dial-up connection before! Yay! Happy!

Naturally I had to go online. I checked my multiply, my mail, my friendster, my facebook, my shelfari, my tagged, etc etc when a brilliant thought entered my mind: cyberstalk my semi-crush! Yay!

So I found out that he's in a long-term relationship. Seven-f*cking-years! *wails. Life is so unfair!!!

Then I got to work this morning. Well, well, the fact cannot be denied that I am now an office girl. Work starts when I time in at 9am and ends when I time out at 6pm. In between, I have an hour for lunch in which I have to time in and out again. In between 9am and lunch and lunch and 6pm, I get to have a fifteen-minute break each. Such is the reality of an office girl's life.

But guess what makes an ordinary office girl's life happy? Office supplies! I love office supplies! Today being a Wednesday, the day reserved for requesting the much sought after office supplies, I came out of the storage room heavy with a corkboard, colorful push pins and paper clips (in two different sizes, mind you!), a magazine holder, a stapler, a tube of glue, a tech pen, a roll of magic tape, a cutter, folders and envelopes, etc. So what if life is unfair? I have so many new things it's like the first day of school! It's like coming home from a shopping spree! Except they're free! Yay! Happy again!

So now I'm busy decorating my work area. That makes me happy. So yes, I must be happy considering how little it takes to make me one. If you don't mind, I'm gonna go put some cute colorful little post-its all over my work station now. After that, I'mma rearrange the magazine cut-outs on my new corkboard. *giggles

Top 20

And so I found out yesterday that a certain connoisseur on women is making monthly assessments on the female staff in the office. He has a top 20 list of the best-looking ladies, complete with comments and/or suggestions for the enhancement of the said ladies' beauty. The rules are strict. For one to be included in the exclusive list, one has to be single, presently employed in the company, and well, biologically female.

He was kind enough to show me the controversial list, which was prominently posted in his work station. While I was reading it, he nonchalantly informed me that I'd be included in his next list, which was due to be out tomorrow. Now years of feminist readings taught me to reject the very concept of objectifying women. The principled thing to do should have been to tear the list into shreds and file a complaint with the HR office.

I did reject his offer of putting me on his list but not for feminist reasons. I was afraid I wouldn't make it to the top 5. Or top 10 at least.

Now excuse me while I jump out of the window.

Re-Connected to the Rest of the World!

Now that my new job grants me Internet access, albeit limited, I couldn't be happier. While it is true that I won't be able to download or upload pictures or music from and to Multiply, I am nevertheless overjoyed that it fulfills my blogging needs, which is the foremost reason for my Multiplying.

Which means I'll be more active in the blogging world again. Yay!

Oh, and since I can't access yahoo mail at work. You may send me messages through my work email: joni.cham@vhs.com.ph. I like receiving mails so go go go, email me!

UPDATE: I am no longer connected with VHS Philippines since February 2008. Instead, I may be reached at sanapakaininmoko@yahoo.com.

Busier Bee

I'm keeping myself busy: fulltime office work, language teaching at the Bridge around two nights per week, freelance writing for the UP Law Center, the novel. Whenever I find the time, I sit in Spanish and Chinese classes too. Next in line are piano and arnis lessons. My friend who teaches piano (and is willing to teach me for free!) is still juggling his schedule to accommodate me. (Nice, nice person. That's why I still believe that the world is populated by nice people.) And I'm still looking for an arnis training center in the Makati area, preferrably within walking distance from Rufino St. Holler if you know of any.

So there.

A part of me is giddy because I like being busy and feeling productive. Plus I get to do things that I've always planned on doing (like learning Spanish!).

Another part of me wants to sleep.

My Next CV Entry

In less than a week, I'll be starting fulltime work again. Guess where? In the last company that I worked for. Yup, the one that I resigned from not more than a couple of months ago. In yet another weird turn of events in my life, I was asked by my big boss, whom I never spoke with until I was asking him for his signature for my resignation clearance, to be his executive assistant. So I said yes.

Thus, no more afternoon naps starting Monday.

A part of me is excited to be starting a new job. People close to me can attest to my exciteable nature, and then the gradual losing of energy. And that's what the other part of me is afraid of. I am ningas-cogon with hair and clothes. As early as now, I am conditioning my mind to like my new job and to stay in it until the end of 2008, at least. I need to control my jobhopping tendency is what I'm saying.

So wish me luck. And lots of energy.