Staying for a While...

I've been trying to fight the Lazy Monster that's been eating on my energy these days. For the past week, I've been planning to go to the gym but the Monster keeps on winning. Very powerful, that Monster.

I think I owe it to everyone reading this blog to tell you what has been happening here. Ok, I've changed my mind yet again. I'm staying. Five more months won't be that long. I had a long talk with the headmaster last Sunday and he has assured me that he won't change the computation of my salary. Basically, he was blaming Rain for my sudden rebellious streak. I think in his eyes, I look too sweet to be able to rebel on my own. I should probably be insulted but I don't really care what he thinks so whatever. There's no love lost between Rain and the headmaster so Rain just laughed it off when I told him about it.

The other night, my JieJie invited Rain and me to dinner at her restaurant. It was the most boring dinner I'd ever attended although the fact that I was very tired that night might also be a factor. Rain came with his girlfriend Ivy, and a few minutes later, Sunrise came. There were also a bunch of other people, important people, I was told. One of which is the Vice Mayor of the city. Ivy and Sunrise, knowing full well the gravity of these people's positions in government, were very intimidated. Rain was pissed at how obnoxious the people were. I was too sleepy to even follow any of the conversations so I didn't have an opinion whatsoever. Unless the question was directed at me, I tuned everyone out.

After that dinner, the four of us went to a barbecue place and had a second dinner. I was feeling down, for some reason that I myself didn't know. Ivy, drunk with the combination of pijiu and baijiu, was telling me that I should not leave TieLing. Actually, she was shouting at me, "You cannot change another city! You cannot change another city! Change another school is ok but you cannot change another city!" I was just watching her from across the table, a little amused, a little weirded out. I'm not sure how long she kept at it before I finally said something which was probably, "I'm not leaving," or something like that. She said, "Swear! Swear to god! Swear to god you're not leaving." Because I did not want to swear to anything, I was thinking of making a joke about the Chinese not having a god. Before I could say anything, she looked at Rain and wailed, "She doesn't want to swear!" which made me raise my right hand instantly. That calmed her down for a while. A few minutes later, she was at it again. "You cannot change another city! I will kill you if you change another city!" I have had people telling me that they'll be very sad if I leave but so far, this was really extreme. Rain tried to explain to her that sometimes foreigners don't think the same way and that we also have to think of ourselves, then she started screaming at me, "You're so selfish! You cannot change another city! You only think of yourself! You cannot leave!" Let me stress that I was very tired, a little drunk, and a little confused about a lot of things that are simultaneously going on in my life. I don't usually cry in public, if I can help it. But at that point, I felt like crying so I said, very calmly, "I think I wanna cry," and bowed my head.

I heard Rain say, "Look what you did." Then I heard sobs. Then I heard Rain again, "Shit, now Joni, look what you did to her." I heard Sunrise saying things like, "It's ok. We understand. I love Joni, Rain loves Joni. We all love her and we don't want her to go." Then Rain again, addressing me I think, "I haven't seen her cry for anyone other than me. Maybe I should be jealous." I would have laughed but I was probably too tired. Anyway, I had to stop crying. It was much too insane even for me. She was sobbing uncontrollably all the while wailing that I should stay in TieLing. I went to her side of the table and hugged her and tried to reassure her that I was staying. She was holding me as if I was about to go that very minute and by squeezing the life out of me she could make me stay. She said that if I go, she wouldn't have anyone to talk to about "the famous people in China."

Back story: The night before, Rain and Ivy were hanging out in my house. Ivy was giving a lecture on the famous celebrities in China. Almost everyone was a king of something, "the dance king," "the comedy king," etc, or the "number 1 most beautiful woman in China (who, for your information, is Cecilia. She worships Cecilia)." Or sometimes, it would go "She used to be famous but now..." Or "She wasn't famous before but she became famous because of so and so, now not so famous again..." It had gotten to a point that every time she would use the words "famous," "king," and "number 1" Rain and I would look at each other and laugh so hard. Sometimes we wouldn't even have time to look at each other, because once Ivy had realized she had said any of those words, we'd all stop whatever we were doing and start laughing like crazy.

Anyway, when finally Rain managed to make her let go of me, I stumbled to the bathroom as I felt my dinner wanting to exit from my mouth. When I reached the bathroom, my dinner must have changed its mind and stubbornly refused to leave my system. That was fine, I continued my own weeping in the bathroom until Rain knocked on the door and demanded that I open the door. We stayed there for a few minutes, crouched in a cramped little space that smelled of things that you've probably never smelled in your lives (you should be grateful). When finally I felt that I'd run out of tears, we went out, I washed my face and thankfully, all was well at the table.

I wasn't sure when Bill arrived but he was there when we came back. Then later, Frank and ShanShan came, then Sunrise's friend (I didn't get his name). It was great that this guy came because he was so funny and that was exactly what we needed that night. One time, he said "fuck you" to Sunrise and somebody quipped, "Fuck him? You're gay!" From that time on, whenever he said something remotely involving another man, we would tease him as being gay, to which he would protest vehemently: "I (pointing to himself) no gay! (waving his hands) Gay, A-I-D-S (spelling it out, then slits his throat with his forefingers) game over." We almost died laughing. In the taxi while on our way to The Bee House, where there were Pinoy performers, he said that he "love Canadian boy" which erupted to chants of "gay gay gay gay gay!" from Ivy and myself. That was just his way of saying that he likes Rain but we couldn't help teasing him if only to see him do the "A-I-D-S, game over" act.

When we reached The Bee House, we found out that Bernadette and Ray had left. We were told that new Pinoy performers would be coming the next night though. They did tell me that they were leaving at the end of the month but that was the 28th so we were hoping that they'd still be there. Rain took it more badly than I. When planning what to do next, he complained that we went there because of the Pinoys "dan shi mei you Fei Lu Bin ren." To lighten the mood, I raised my hand and said, "Hai you yi ge!"

With that we headed to Tian Xing Hotel. Because I don't dance, I was left to watch everyone's things at the table while watching a bunch of Chinese people shaking their heads on the dancefloor. I didn't mind, I'd really rather watch people looking retarded than making myself look retarded so it was ok. Finally, we called it a night (I was ready to call it a night three hours ago. Then again it was fun in a weird way.) and went home to a bunch of YM messages from Nuna asking why I wasn't home yet. The next day, I stayed in bed until around 2 in the afternoon. Since then, I have not been out again (nor seen/heard from the others) save from going to my classes and the supermarket to buy groceries.

Oh, and I finally got to see "The Pillow Book." One word: intense.