Thursday, October 26, 2006

Just for tonight

I feel like crying. I feel like crying and I don't know why. No, I think I do but I don't want to say it out loud because if I do it'll make it real. So I wouldn't. But not saying it doesn't make it not real either. It just makes me a coward. So maybe I'll cry. And what does it matter if it's true or not? So maybe I'll cry just for tonight then just let everything go. Just once. That is all I'm allowing myself. And then I go on and I live and everything will be as before. And no more hoping this time. No more wishing and being disappointed. And it's not as if I lost anything. I no longer want to think about it after tonight. This is it. The last time. Tomorrow, see if I care.

Posted by at

22 comments:

  1. BUDI MASADAOOctober 26, 2006 at 8:09 AM

    take care always....hope to see you when u get home...i'll take care of ya...;)

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  2. BUDI MASADAOOctober 26, 2006 at 8:09 AM

    take care always....hope to see you when u get home...i'll take care of ya...;)

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  3. BUDI MASADAOOctober 26, 2006 at 8:12 AM

    hope i can i can dry ur tears now....
    .

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  4. BUDI MASADAOOctober 26, 2006 at 8:13 AM

    i got lotsa of tissues here...heheeh

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  5. BUDI MASADAOOctober 26, 2006 at 8:15 AM

    see u in baguio...K...................:)

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  6. acid42 lionel valdellonOctober 26, 2006 at 8:16 AM

    write it on a small piece of paper and tear it up as a ritual every night till it's gone... and there's no more need for the ritual. ;-)

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  7. oliver lordaeronOctober 26, 2006 at 9:26 AM

    *sniff*

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  8. BUDI MASADAOOctober 26, 2006 at 12:12 PM

    SNIFF..SNIFF...

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  9. BUDI MASADAOOctober 26, 2006 at 12:22 PM

    hey joni!!! it's not the end of the world...there's so much fun waitin' for u here at home...c'mon...enjoy....come to baguio..and i'll take care of you...so many guys & gals(?) here for you...say mo ...no????

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  10. XXXX YYYYOctober 26, 2006 at 2:35 PM

    easy lang.. kaya yan...

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  11. jona cham-lagoOctober 26, 2006 at 10:36 PM

    hug nuni.

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  12. ProminentMoth MothOctober 26, 2006 at 10:45 PM

    What is this? Bad China month!

    Don't worry, it will pass. I am out of my funk now and literally everything that I have done in the last few days has been going the way I want it to.

    The good stuff is just around the corner...

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  13. Sachin GOctober 27, 2006 at 2:00 AM

    So let it happen..... have a good cry ... if you are ashamed of people hearing you, may be switch on loud music and cry...... let the tears go out of you and rest all will fall in place....it works I guess...

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  14. joni chamOctober 27, 2006 at 2:28 AM

    Thanks everyone. I apologize for having you all worried about me. It's nothing serious, really. But it does make me feel good that people are concerned. You made me feel loved :D. And I'll take that hug, Nuna. Haven't had a good cry yet. Maybe tonight. Let's see.

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  15. Carolyn SchnurOctober 27, 2006 at 6:04 AM

    Hope you are feeling better.

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  16. criselle darantinaoOctober 27, 2006 at 6:20 AM

    awwww.. :(

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  17. melanie casulOctober 27, 2006 at 6:57 AM

    hey what happened? hope things are ok now... we all have our moments it will be fine...

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  18. V AOctober 27, 2006 at 12:13 PM

    hope you're feeling better ms. joni..cheer up!Ü

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  19. joni chamOctober 28, 2006 at 2:18 AM

    Um, actually, no I don't really feel any better. I do at times but for the most part, no. But it's ok because like you said Melanie, "it will be fine." Surely this can't go on forever.

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  20. jona cham-lagoOctober 28, 2006 at 3:01 AM

    '...everything in life is only for nooooow...'

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  21. joni chamOctober 28, 2006 at 3:32 AM

    Nuna, are you still intoxicated? Hmm... good idea...

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  22. jona cham-lagoOctober 28, 2006 at 3:45 AM

    i just woke up. my head's still all wrapped up in fog. hehe.

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