Amah's birthday

Today's my Amah's birthday. She would've been 84. It's been so long that sometimes I wonder if I didn't just imagine her. My fiction writer's mind must have filled in the gaps of my memory. Surely, she couldn't have been perfect. But I love her. I always will love her no matter how many years pass, fact or fiction.
I was 10 when she died. Now I'm 24. More than half of my life without her. I didn't think I could last this long. I miss her. Even after all these years there would still be nights spent weeping, calling her in the dark. Those nights I'm the ten-year-old Joni again, lost and confused.

my first entry!

This is my very first entry, as stated in my subject box. Thanks to Noey who generously put up this site for me. I am absolutely illiterate when it comes to these things. Jona have been bugging me to visit her blog, then Noey too. So now I have my own "blog", except that this one is on a different site.
I have just finished my class. I'm actually enjoying myself this term. Less workload so there is really time to enjoy my students. Before I can't even find the time to just have fun because of all the papers to check and the lessons to prepare. Of course there's the ever present pressure brought about by the upcoming compre exam. Surprisingly, I feel that I have even that under control.
Well it wasn't always that easy. It took me a year to regain my confidence. Every term, I thought of taking it but good thing I waited. I feel more prepared this term. And by that I think I mean emotional preparation more than intellectual or mental.
Of course there is always the very real possibility of failing it yet again. But now I know and believe that I can actually do it. It may be hard but it's not impossible. I'm going to do it.