On Being Issueless

I've run out of angst. That's what it is. Life has become so uncomplicated. There's nothing to whine about except maybe the heat. Or the traffic. Or how expensive everything is. I don't know, maybe this is what it means to be contented about life. It's a strange feeling, really. I'm not used to not being agitated about the fact that I'm currently unemployed. Or sad that I don't have a boyfriend. Then again maybe I haven't given myself enough time to find things to complain about yet.

Not that I'm happy. Nor that I'm unhappy. I'm just *shrugs shoulders* issueless. And it's been a long time since I last felt this way. Actually, I'm not even sure if I'd ever felt this way. I had always ALWAYS had issues. When I didn't, I invented some. And I must have gotten so good at it that I almost always never noticed that most of my issues were mere illusions.

I do not know what brought about this odd feeling of peace. Should I attribute it to growing up and realizing the things that really matter and therefore not dwelling on the insignificant stuff? Or maybe I've toughened up just a bit too much and now have to look for tougher issues as well.

And this should be good for the thesis for isn't literature written in "moments of tranquility"? We'll find out soon enough, I guess.

I'll be honest
that I do have one little worry and that is I might become boring. But
then again why should it even matter?


Wait. I might still be on track... See how I've managed to make an issue out of not having issues?

Back Home!

So I'm back! Was it always this hot? The minute I got home, I made a beeline to my bookshelf. It's the part of my room that I missed most when I was gone. After days of unpacking and rearranging things, I met up with Nuna, Artie and Daniel to watch a couple of indie films at Galleria. Then I slept over at Nuna's condo and we took loads of crazy pictures. It was fun. Hehehe.

The day after, Nuna and I headed to Soneva to have a back and foot massage. Pictures here: http://thejonastory.multiply.com/photos/album/41?mark_read=thejonastory:photos:41

Tennis Masters Cup Shanghai

My boss gave me a ticket to the Tennis Masters Cup that was being held not far from the training camp last Friday and since I didn't have any plans for the day, I went and watched. Let me now say that I didn't know anything about tennis. Sure, I'd seen matches on TV and even stopped to watch for a few minutes before I switched the channel again but I never really expected myself to be out watching a real match because it was just one of those things that never crossed my mind doing. Well, the ticket was free and I'm not one to waste free things, I decided it might be fun.

I caught the tail end of one doubles match (those in black) and stayed on to watch the next (those in white). Crowd favorite Santoro and his teammate Zimonjic lost to Bjorkman and Mirnyi. I did not want to stay out too late so I decided not to watch the singles. Unfortunately, the cute Nadal was playing next. Oh well.

Tickets may be used to reenter the stadium if one got it validated. Quite expectedly, a scalper offered to buy my ticket as I was on my way out.

Scalper: Won't you be coming back?
JC: No.
S: Let me buy your ticket.
JC: How much?
S: 30yuan.
JC: 50.
S: You won't be coming back to watch anyway. Just sell it to me.
JC: Yeah but you'll be selling it to other people.
S: I'm not going to sell it. I want to bring my friend in. 30 isn't low.
JC: Ok ok.

I spent 26RMB for the taxi ride going to the stadium. Then there was a free shuttle to the bus stop and so I only spent 2RMB for the bus going home. I had an 8RMB dinner in one of the small restaurants near the bus stop. This brings me to a total of a 6RMB deficit. Sheesh, I should have insisted on 50.

Bye For Nooooow! (but only for nooooow)

For months since I first got invited to open a Multiply
account by a former student, I never did anything to it. I even forgot all
about it if not for the updates I got from the said student every time she
posted something new. The craze then was Friendster and I was satisfied with
just maintaining one virtual friends network account. Plus I had LiveJournal
for my blogging needs. Not that I blogged that much but the point is if I had
anything to blog about, I could always use LJ. But then I came to China
and I thought to myself that I could actually have more time to devote to
Multiply. My original intention was to make Multiply my artsy-fartsy site. But
then this did not happen because 1. I think I might not be artsy enough and, 2.
I was too lazy to find/make artsy things to post.

Thus the main purpose for my site became to update friends
and family members of the goings-on in my life despite being in a place far
away. I grew tired of having to send individual emails to everyone. With
Multiply, I did not have to repeat myself over and over again every time I get
an email from a friend asking what’s new. I would just direct people to my
page. It came to a point when I had an unwritten rule of “read first, then
ask.” Similar to being in school, actually. If you haven’t read the assigned
readings, don’t ask me what it’s about. After you’ve read my blog, then you can
ask for updates, clarifications, etc. When I chat with my friends, I usually
chat with the assumption that they’ve read my blog, thus when I mention
specific names and events, I expect them to know what I’m talking about. I’m a
high-maintenance friend. Hmm, I wonder why I still have friends. 

At first, I was not even all that concerned about what
anyone else in Multiply wrote. I was just happy to find a place where I could
record what had been happening to me and conveniently share it with people I
needed to tell these things to. Eventually, more of my friends started to
maintain their own accounts and I found more people whose lives I actually began
to want to know more about. I also found more friends who I had lost touch
with. What I have now is a community of online friends that is actually as real
as maybe a barkada in high school or lunch buddies at work.

And then it’s time for me to go home. My reason for not
blogging enough when I was in Manila
was that there was hardly anything to write about. Of course you can argue with
me about that. There are plenty of people in Manila whose blogs are way more interesting
than mine will ever be. I suppose it’s all in the mind, yes? While I’m not
exactly leaving Multiply, I feel the need to write a goodbye entry of sorts. I
feel that my most productive Multiplying phase is about to come to an end.
Hopefully this will translate to being productive in other areas. (I know! I
know! Stop pressuring me!) 

And so this is my goodbye of sorts. Once I get to Manila, I plan to be
online for only once a week, more or less. Before China, I could actually go for
weeks without the Internet but times have changed. Habits, more like. As early
as now, I’m starting to miss the people in my online community of whose lives I
impatiently wait the installments. I would like to believe that I’d be missed
too.

Perhaps I’ll give you updates on how the thesis is coming
along. I’ll talk about reverse culture shock. I’ll tell you more about the hits
and misses of my uneventful love life. I’ll try to find something. There are
six more days before the real goodbye. This is just to prepare you for it.

Going Home Issues

I’ve been stressing about going home issues. For the past
week or so, I would stare at my filled to bursting suitcases and all I could
think about is how in hell I’d be able to go home in the smoothest possible
way.

Issue # 1: Money Matters

Not all banks in China exchange RMB to USD. Theoretically,
Bank of China should be able to change currencies but it seems that policies
differ from place to place. In Beijing,
for instance, foreigners can’t have their RMB changed to USD. If I were in Beijing, I will have to
convince a Chinese person to go with me to the bank and have him/her change the
money. But then I’m in Shanghai… so I had a
friend call up Bank of China here and found out that there are only two
branches in Shanghai
that can change currencies. I was then given a list of the things I will need
for this transaction, 3 out of 5 of which I don’t have and have no idea what
they are. And then my friend said it’s not going to be changed into cash. What?!
She doesn’t know how to say it but I’m guessing it’ll be changed to traveller’s
checks.

And then there’s this other bank that also changes
currencies. It can change to cash and asks for 4 documents, 3 of which I don’t
have and don’t know what they are. I’m really tempted to just take the RMB home
and find a way to have it changed in Manila.

Issue # 2: Luggage Overload

Of course I have too many things. Despite having sent things
home three times via post over the course of my China adventure, I still have too
many things. Packing to make them fit into the suitcases is not a problem. The
problem is exceeding the weight limit, which is only 20 kilos for an Asian
destination.

A friend said the airlines allow an excess of 5 kilos at
most but I’m afraid that that depends largely on their mood. What if they’re
having a bad day on the 21^st? I’m thinking if I could just put it
down to 22 kilos, then I’ll be safe.

My last resort is to charm the airport personnel into
letting me in without having to pay for excess baggage (which by the way was
what I did at the Manila terminal). But we can’t
always count on that. Even charms fail at times.

I’ve been having sleepless nights over these things and it
shows in my complexion, which needs ample amount of sleep to, you know, glow
and stuff. And if I intend to charm those airport people, I’ll need to look my
best! And it’s just so not working right now. *bawls not very charmingly

A Few of My Favorite Things

Following Nuna's cue, I stopped surfing the net for a couple of hours to think of all the simple things that make me happy. I actually have a similar somewhat scaled down version of this on Tagged that I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. (UPDATE: I have since taken down my Tagged account.)

This is in celebration of all the good things in my life. In other words, "these are a few of my favorite things":

• A good story. One that does any one or more of the following: makes your heart weep, or makes you want to scream out loud in frustration, or makes you laugh so hard you couldn't breathe, or makes you smile sadly and suddenly feel that the world has changed somewhat since you last looked. It could be from a well-written:
  
  • ...book. And I love the very physical act of holding a book in my hands, smelling the ink on paper, turning each page with my fingers...
  • ...play. The intimacy of watching a live performance. The collective gasps and giggles of the audience.
  • ...movie. The images put together to tell a story.
    

• Great company. Nothing beats being with people whose company I adore. No pressure to say anything witty nor smart, but always somehow coming up with funny things, albeit stupid at times. But you see, it doesn't matter because they'll still love you anyway.

• Great conversation. Which comes with great company. This one deserves its own bullet though because one needs not necessarily be having a conversation with the great company.

• Good food. I always tell Nuna that the best things in life are still the ones that satisfy our most basic needs. Eating (and one other thing that I love doing which I am not going to put here to avoid offending fragile sensibilities) remains to be on top of the list of one's primal needs.
  

• Singing with wild abandon. Sometimes to the frustration of people within hearing distance so I keep this to a minimum. Or I find myself a secluded corner and sing to my heart's content.

• Long, relaxing massages. Ooooh yes! A bit expensive in Manila though. Hmm, I hope my next boyfriend will be good at giving massages.
  

• The internet and blogging. Mainly because most of my great conversations these days happen online.

• Being read. And having people comment on my blog.

• Getting published. Which doesn't happen a lot these days.... I have to do something about that.
  

• Daydreaming and talking to myself. And I find myself doing a lot of these these past few weeks. More so than usual. If you don't find me online, then I'm off to my own little world having conversations with myself. Oh, and I do talk out loud in my room too.

• Hearing a long complicated sentence in Chinese and realizing I understood everything in it. And could even reply.
  

• Getting freebies. And discounts! And good bargains!

• Gifts!
  

• Getting a letter from an old friend who just suddenly remembers to say hi.

• A smile from a friendly stranger (not the stalker kind, please).
  

• Brainstorming on new and exciting projects with people with great minds.
  

• Knowing there are people who would like to be with me and are missing me right now. :D
  

Oh, I could go on and on but it's almost time for dinner and you all know I love to eat.

Wrapping Up the China Adventures

I'll be ending my China adventures in exactly 16 days. I must say that the past year and four months is filled with a lot of extremes for me. For the most part, I'm excited to go home. I know I'll be missing a lot of things here but there is a part of me that knows that it really is time to wrap it up and begin yet a new journey.

I thought it best to look back on my Reasons for Coming to China entry written about a month after coming here. It's my way of seeing whether I was able to achieve what I originally set out to do, how, and why not if I wasn't.

1. The primary reason for coming here is so I could live on my own. Perhaps I thought of it as a way of playing house with higher risks and responsibilities. I don't think I was really aware of the immensity of a life on my own when I set out on this adventure. But I think I did pretty well. Plus I survived the housework, or more likely, I survived the filth for not doing enough housework. I survived nonetheless. That's what counts.

2. This is my cheapest and most lucrative travel experience ever. It feels a bit like being on a long vacation and getting paid for it. Maybe that's why it's so fun. There's this part of me that treats this whole thing as getting away from real life for a while. But only for a while because I always knew that I'd go back home when it's all over.

3. I asked for some excitement and I definitely got it. One never really knows what would happen next in China. It's full of little surprises whichever way you go. You cannot have any kind of expectations whatsoever because it'll only shock you even more once you get to the outcome. I'm not sure if this is only true for foreigners. Even so, it must be twice the fun (and at times irritation) for foreigners.

4. This is by far the most adventurous thing that I've ever done in my life. Looking back, I'm still a bit surprised that I actually went through with it. I don't exactly think of myself as a gutsy person but after everything I went through for the past year and a half, I think I should start adding that word to describe myself. This whole China trip is surprising even to me.

5. The novel. Okay, I'm not very successful in this area. I did get to think more though. And if I had stayed home, I'd probably still not be finished with it either. I think my only consolation here is that at least I spent my year living, as opposed to whining about how nothing exciting ever happens to my life.

6. Maybe because I set out a fairly easy goal (which is to "brush up on my Mandarin"), I think I passed this with flying colors. I learned the language more than I thought I was capable of. Of course there is no real way to tell when one has learned the language enough. In fact I don't think one ever stops learning a language, any language. I know I'm still a long way to being really proficient in Mandarin but I realize now that it's not impossible. Sometimes I even catch myself thinking in it now. Isn't that weird?

7. China will always be a home of sorts for me. Not only is it the land of my ancestors, but it's also the place where I got to test out different sides of me that I was only dimly aware of before this trip. It has given me a wider perspective of the world and how people live lives in ways different from what I was used to. Or at times the same way but with a different twist.
I still haven't been to Fujian though. But knowing how near it is to Manila compared to all the other places in China that I've been to, I think it won't be that hard to one day visit Fujian and have a homecoming of sorts. That would be interesting.

In 16 days I'm going to have my real homecoming. I'm not sure how changed I am because of China. I'm hoping just enough to be exotic and mysterious but essentially the same to still be recognized and loved by the people who are impatiently awaiting my return. Hehehe.

You Know You're Spending Too Much Time in Front of the Computer When...

1. You have an account on most virtual friends network sites like Multiply, Friendster, Myspace, Tagged, Hi5, Ringo, etc.

2. You actually get to update these accounts in terms of posting your latest pictures, checking out who's viewed your page, posting blogs, etc.

3. You take all kinds of quizzes from "Are You Hot?" to "Which 'Friends' Character Are You?"

4. You're actually familiar with your cyberfriends' lives like who's sleeping with whom, who has just been dumped, who's moving on or at least that's what she says, etc.

5. Your cyberfriends are also familiar with what's been happening in your life and are in fact more up to date than your friends in the real world.

6. You invite your cyberfriends to join you in other online communities (ie., you invite them to your Friendster if you met in Myspace, etc.).

7. You have arguments with people (note, people. not friends, cyber or otherwise) you have never met in the real world and whose opinions you don't really care about anyway.

8. You google about anything that comes to mind.

9. You wonder if you'd like your cyberfriends as much if you'd met in the real world.

10. You make lists of how you know you're spending too much time in front of the computer.


I think this just means that I should get a life. You're free to add to the list though.