For months since I first got invited to open a Multiply
account by a former student, I never did anything to it. I even forgot all
about it if not for the updates I got from the said student every time she
posted something new. The craze then was Friendster and I was satisfied with
just maintaining one virtual friends network account. Plus I had LiveJournal
for my blogging needs. Not that I blogged that much but the point is if I had
anything to blog about, I could always use LJ. But then I came to
and I thought to myself that I could actually have more time to devote to
Multiply. My original intention was to make Multiply my artsy-fartsy site. But
then this did not happen because 1. I think I might not be artsy enough and, 2.
I was too lazy to find/make artsy things to post.
Thus the main purpose for my site became to update friends
and family members of the goings-on in my life despite being in a place far
away. I grew tired of having to send individual emails to everyone. With
Multiply, I did not have to repeat myself over and over again every time I get
an email from a friend asking what’s new. I would just direct people to my
page. It came to a point when I had an unwritten rule of “read first, then
ask.” Similar to being in school, actually. If you haven’t read the assigned
readings, don’t ask me what it’s about. After you’ve read my blog, then you can
ask for updates, clarifications, etc. When I chat with my friends, I usually
chat with the assumption that they’ve read my blog, thus when I mention
specific names and events, I expect them to know what I’m talking about. I’m a
high-maintenance friend. Hmm, I wonder why I still have friends.
At first, I was not even all that concerned about what
anyone else in Multiply wrote. I was just happy to find a place where I could
record what had been happening to me and conveniently share it with people I
needed to tell these things to. Eventually, more of my friends started to
maintain their own accounts and I found more people whose lives I actually began
to want to know more about. I also found more friends who I had lost touch
with. What I have now is a community of online friends that is actually as real
as maybe a barkada in high school or lunch buddies at work.
And then it’s time for me to go home. My reason for not
blogging enough when I was in
was that there was hardly anything to write about. Of course you can argue with
me about that. There are plenty of people in
than mine will ever be. I suppose it’s all in the mind, yes? While I’m not
exactly leaving Multiply, I feel the need to write a goodbye entry of sorts. I
feel that my most productive Multiplying phase is about to come to an end.
Hopefully this will translate to being productive in other areas. (I know! I
know! Stop pressuring me!)
And so this is my goodbye of sorts. Once I get to
online for only once a week, more or less. Before
weeks without the Internet but times have changed. Habits, more like. As early
as now, I’m starting to miss the people in my online community of whose lives I
impatiently wait the installments. I would like to believe that I’d be missed
too.
Perhaps I’ll give you updates on how the thesis is coming
along. I’ll talk about reverse culture shock. I’ll tell you more about the hits
and misses of my uneventful love life. I’ll try to find something. There are
six more days before the real goodbye. This is just to prepare you for it.
I’ve been stressing about going home issues. For the past
week or so, I would stare at my filled to bursting suitcases and all I could
think about is how in hell I’d be able to go home in the smoothest possible
way.
Issue # 1: Money Matters
Not all banks in
Bank of China should be able to change currencies but it seems that policies
differ from place to place. In
for instance, foreigners can’t have their RMB changed to USD. If I were in
convince a Chinese person to go with me to the bank and have him/her change the
money. But then I’m in
friend call up Bank of China here and found out that there are only two
branches in
that can change currencies. I was then given a list of the things I will need
for this transaction, 3 out of 5 of which I don’t have and have no idea what
they are. And then my friend said it’s not going to be changed into cash. What?!
She doesn’t know how to say it but I’m guessing it’ll be changed to traveller’s
checks.
And then there’s this other bank that also changes
currencies. It can change to cash and asks for 4 documents, 3 of which I don’t
have and don’t know what they are. I’m really tempted to just take the RMB home
and find a way to have it changed in
Issue # 2: Luggage Overload
Of course I have too many things. Despite having sent things
home three times via post over the course of my
many things. Packing to make them fit into the suitcases is not a problem. The
problem is exceeding the weight limit, which is only 20 kilos for an Asian
destination.
A friend said the airlines allow an excess of 5 kilos at
most but I’m afraid that that depends largely on their mood. What if they’re
having a bad day on the 21st? I’m thinking if I could just put it
down to 22 kilos, then I’ll be safe.
My last resort is to charm the airport personnel into
letting me in without having to pay for excess baggage (which by the way was
what I did at the
always count on that. Even charms fail at times.
I’ve been having sleepless nights over these things and it
shows in my complexion, which needs ample amount of sleep to, you know, glow
and stuff. And if I intend to charm those airport people, I’ll need to look my
best! And it’s just so not working right now. *bawls not very charmingly
| Rating: | ★★★★★ |
| Category: | Movies |
| Genre: | Drama |
Published on Page A13 of the September 22, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
IF
Staff Sergeant Chad Carpentier had thought that by depicting the
Filipina complainant in the Subic rape case as a “professional” rather
than an innocent victim he had succeeded in destroying her credibility,
then he has another think coming.
In the first place, it is immaterial whether Nicole is, in street
lingo, a “working girl” or just a tourist caught in a risky situation.
If she did not consent to sex, or was too inebriated to have given her
consent, then it was rape pure and simple. It matters not whether she
had previous sexual experience, or even a genital infection, as a
defense lawyer sneakily insinuated in his line of questioning.
Then, too, even if Carpentier and his buddies had “in good faith”
associated with and carted off Nicole believing that she was a
prostitute, he still has a lot of explaining to do. In the first place,
the US Defense Department has already announced a “zero tolerance”
policy on the solicitation of sexual favors by US servicemen. But the
sergeant, as the most senior of the four accused, not just tolerated
the assault, he even, by some accounts, joined in cheering on his good
buddy, Daniel Smith, while the latter was having sex with Nicole in the
back seat of a van.
It’s also telling that defense lawyers believed that by besmirching
Nicole and having her labeled as a “professional,” they were destroying
whatever support and sympathy she was getting from the public.
Apparently, too, they believed that nobody would question the motives
of the four Marines who were inside a bar, plying a woman with drinks
then carrying her off in the dead of night. I guess this is because
society still believes that men have a “natural right” to solicit and
enjoy sexual favors, that they are “natural (and inevitable)
predators.” Indeed, many people, women included, have tended to point
the finger of blame at Nicole, saying she had asked for it because she
had been careless and had let her guard down.
I once wrote that “we are all Nicole.” This may be truer than we
think. Apparently, to deduce from Carpentier’s statement, they felt
free to take liberties with Nicole because they believed she was a
prostitute. And this simply illustrates, as an editorial in another
paper stated, that to American men, “all Filipinas are prostitutes.”
* * *
THE Women’s Crisis Center, the first local NGO (non-government
organization) established to provide shelter, counseling and training
to women and children victims of violence, has written an “open letter”
to Nicole in the wake of her tumultuous experiences, not at the hands
of her rapists, but at the hands of her public prosecutors.
This is an English translation of the original written in Filipino. The letter follows in full:
We, the women of the Women’s Crisis Center, express our strong support and unity with your cause.
The Women’s Crisis Center is a private organization that gives
comprehensive and sensitive services to women and children victims of
violence. From our 17 years of solidarity with victims of violence
against women, we understand that you are facing a difficult time. Not
many women have found the inner strength to confront the legal system.
We all know that this is complicated and fraught with difficulties
especially for the rape victims. It’s not just your case that is being
tried but also your honor and your entire person.
Our society has a long way to go before it can fully understand
victims of violence like you and render real justice and healing. We
also know that it must hurt you to see the people whom you had hoped
would defend you are now the same ones attacking you and your family.
Despite all the accusations hurled at you, we continue to believe
that you were the victim in this case. We admire you for the
steadfastness and inner strength that you have shown in the midst of
this very difficult process that you are going through.
We stand ready to offer our understanding, sympathy and support to
you in your struggle. Even if you don’t prevail in court, you will
still be vindicated in the eyes of women and before the entire Filipino
nation.
AT LARGE
We are all Nicole
Published on Page A13 of the July 8, 2006 issue of the Philippine Daily Inquirer
DURING
THE RECENT OBSERVANCE OF Philippine-American Friendship Day, there was
no lack of commentators pointing out the irony that the No. 1 “example”
of Fil-Am relations today is the ongoing trial for the rape of a young
Filipina by four US Marines.
Even as the country’s high and mighty were trooping through security
check-points at the US Embassy for the Fourth of July celebration,
lawyers on both sides of the case were prepping for the testimony of
“Nicole,” the 22-year-old native of Zamboanga who has accused four US
servicemen of rape during a vacation in Subic.
What Nicole had to say corroborated much of what had already been
said by others. But since the story was coming directly from her, it
must have been so much more dramatic and poignant from a first-person
point of view. In fact, Nicole is reported to have broken down four
times in the course of her three-hour testimony.
Her story conveys a lot of the confusion she must have felt at the
club that night, especially since she admits to having had one drink
too many. She said she remembers dancing with some servicemen, some of
whom looked familiar to her while others were total strangers, and then
being dragged out of the club by a Marine she identified as Cpl. Daniel
Smith, the same man she identified as later “lying on top of me … (and)
kissing me.”
* * *
WHEN the story first broke out last November, observers raised
questions about Nicole’s “innocence,” asking what a nice girl like her
was doing inside a club, drinking heavily and dancing with American
soldiers.
During her testimony Thursday, Nicole attempted to explain the level
of comfort she felt with American servicemen and why she had let her
guard down that night. She was used to hanging around with American
soldiers, she explained, and was in fact managing the canteen her
family owned inside a military camp, which was frequented by American
soldiers taking part in military exercises. “We treated them like
family. We treat them well so that they will not feel homesick,” she
explained.
So comfortable were she and her family around American soldiers that
when she and two of her sisters were invited by a family friend, US
Navy Petty Officer Christopher Mills, to a vacation in Subic, they
agreed to go, though they insisted on paying for their plane fare.
Other Filipinas might be leery of being seen with American
servicemen, especially in Subic and Olongapo, for fear of being
mistaken for sex workers. But Nicole had no such prejudice or reason to
fear the Americans. Mingling and making friends with soldiers were
normal for her, and since no one had abused the friendship they
offered, she had no reason to keep them at arm’s length. So when a
Marine she didn’t know grabbed her arm and asked her to dance with him,
she agreed but only after Mills silently nodded—a signal that she could
trust the Marine.
* * *
IN A REPORT in this paper, Dr. June Pagaduan-Lopez, who provides
counseling support for Nicole and her family, surmised that Nicole may
have found the testimony “painful” not only because it forced her to
re-live the events of that night but also because “she felt betrayed.”
Was Nicole in fact naïve in the extreme in traveling to Subic at the
invitation of a serviceman friend? Was she reckless in downing drink
after drink offered by Mills to her and her sister while they were out
having a good time? And could her possibly inebriated state have led
the accused Marines to believe she was willing to have sex with one—or
all—of them?
As far as I know, naiveté is not a crime, nor is recklessness. And
if every young woman who gets soused and wasted in the course of a good
time deserves to be raped, then we would rack up rape statistics far
worse than South Africa’s.
Doesn’t Nicole’s story just make you want to tear up? In many ways,
we are all like Nicole in our relations with Americans: naïve, trusting
in their innate goodness, blind to their human frailties—or
geo-political pragmatism, but, unlike Nicole, intimidated into silence
and passivity.
True, our relations with the United States have undergone a major
revamp through the decades, especially after the termination of the
bases agreement. But even today, in crafting our foreign policies and
in interpreting the Visiting Forces Agreement, we tend to bend over
backwards to accommodate the Americans, and rush to satisfy their
demands and interests.
* * *
THANKS to the policy of benevolent assimilation, Filipinos of this
and previous generations have always related to Americans and the
American government in much the same way that Nicole and her family
dealt with the American servicemen frequenting their canteen.
We assumed they could be trusted. We believed that they had our
interests in mind when they asked us to be their allies. And even when
we were led into dangerous ventures—such as sending troops to Korea,
Vietnam and Iraq—we justified the risk by saying we would at least be
amply compensated by our wealthier friends.
And when they abused our hospitality—by locking Filipinos out of our
own territory, as they did with the bases they maintained; and aiding,
abetting and even financing the growth of sex industry centers
clustered around the bases—we still looked the other way and said that
in the long term, we benefited economically from the bases.
We did have our “Nicole-moment.” That day when the Philippine Senate
voted to reject the RP-US bases agreement. But even that resounding
victory for the nationalist cause would ultimately be eroded by the VFA
and the continuing presence of the American military on our soil. Which
just goes to show that when Americans want to f—k with you, they’ll f—k
you any which way.
