Thought Bits

The term finally ends. With it, comes the holiday season. Of course I love the gifts and food and the vacation, as well as the other merry making devices that keep us occupied for the duration of the vacation. As for the spending that inevitably goes with Christmas, hmmm, that part I don't like so much. So I'm recycling gifts! Mwahahahaha!

Three weeks ago, I successfully defended my thesis proposal so technically, there is now absolutely nothing that stands on my way to writing my novel. Except laziness, perhaps.

I might have a load next term. Litera1. Well at least that's something I'll be more comfortable handling. It might not push through though, because as of last count, only nine people are enrolled. We need at least fifteen.

In an hour or two, we will be on our way to Grace's surprise bridal shower. I hope that'll be fun. She's getting married to her boyfriend of eight years. Wuuuoow! What's enviable is that they already have their own house in Cainta. Hay, I wonder when I get to have my own house.

On Cinemalaya entry and thesis writing

As always, I am sleepy. But today, I do have a legitimate reason for being so. I spent all night working on our proposal for the CCP Cinemalaya with Artie. We didn't expect it to last all night but it did. I have to admit it was also fun, being so meticulous about the exact phrasing, word, and even punctuation mark to use. It made me miss writing even more. Although another confession is that I never was that meticulous about my own writing. But because there were two of us, we were able to toss the ideas and words between us and come up with something that we both can live with. Oops, that's an understatement. Did I say we worked until the sun was high up in the sky?

I'll be working on my thesis starting November. Whether I like it or not. I'm still making up my mind as to my topic though. Hopefully, come November I have more things figured out. The reason why I picked that month is more out of neccessity than any other. By that time, I'll be done with my classes in FEU. I'll only be handling a class at DLSU, artapre yes, but just one nonetheless. So finally, I will be left with no excuse for not writing. In a way I am also looking forward to it. Loads and loads of time to think and write and go mad!

sick

I have been sick for almost a month now. I have a permanent cold, which gave way to a full-fledged cough--one that's mildly embarrassing when you're riding public transport, and extremely embarrassing in a conference, movie theater or concert. But I have to be thankful that I no longer have a fever most of the time.
So that is what's happening in my life these days. I largely attribute this to not being able to rest, as in really rest. But all that will change, hopefully.
Beginning Wednesday, I no longer have to substitute for Fykes so I am hoping that I will now have more time to sleep and build up my resistence. Ooooh, that sounds so health-magazinish.
After all, I need all the strength I could muster for my thesis, which incidentally, I have not yet begun to write. Thank you very much for the added pressure.
If you don't mind, I'm gonna go check some papers now.

getting better

I am actually beginning to enjoy my Art Appreciation class. I was too intimidated when i was first given the class that I was just panicky the whole time. Now, I'm getting more excited with the lessons and the discussions. My students, maybe because they're upperclass people, have very insightful comments, which leads to stimulating class discussions. Not to mention that I am finally being given the perfect opportunity to learn more about art, which is something I have always wanted to do.

hay

Hindi ako masaya ngayon. I don't know why but I just don't feel good. Sort of like being figuratively constipated. hay.
Two more weeks to go and summer classes are over. Hurray! That's something to look forward to. Despite the fact that I'm still uncertain about a teaching load in June. Oh well. Right now I am very very sleepy. And not very happy. hay.

I passed!

Can I just tell everyone that I passed my comprehensive exams? Yup yup! sige, pwede niyo na ko i-congratulate ngayon dahil sigurado na. Thesis na lang. That does not in any way mean that it's easier, but just that it's the only thing standing on my way to adding three letters after my name. hehe. Anyway, wish me luck! I hope to be done by December. Keeping my fingers crossed here.

kwento kwento lang

It's been ages! There is really no one to blame but myself. If I could spend the whole day sleeping, I swear I would. I am not exaggerating. That is how lazy I am. And that is why, ladies and gentlemen, I can't even find the energy to write a few lines here.
I have successfully dragged myself in front of the computer today because I can't go home just yet. Joseph's grandma passed away and a bunch of us are going to the wake this afternoon. I haven't seen a lot of these "bunch" of people so I suppose it's going to be a get-together of sorts. And I also felt guilty, neglecting this journal and all.
So what I plan to do while passing time are: surf the net, go to the lib, eat, sleep if possible but it's too freezing here in the dept, I'll probably try later. work on the CRC proposal, but I am sleepy...
I hope the irritating itchy feeling I have with my eyes this past few days doesn't develop into sore eyes. Or else I am so doomed.
And I am missing my loverboy. It's still three more days before we meet again. sigh.

Amah's birthday

Today's my Amah's birthday. She would've been 84. It's been so long that sometimes I wonder if I didn't just imagine her. My fiction writer's mind must have filled in the gaps of my memory. Surely, she couldn't have been perfect. But I love her. I always will love her no matter how many years pass, fact or fiction.
I was 10 when she died. Now I'm 24. More than half of my life without her. I didn't think I could last this long. I miss her. Even after all these years there would still be nights spent weeping, calling her in the dark. Those nights I'm the ten-year-old Joni again, lost and confused.

my first entry!

This is my very first entry, as stated in my subject box. Thanks to Noey who generously put up this site for me. I am absolutely illiterate when it comes to these things. Jona have been bugging me to visit her blog, then Noey too. So now I have my own "blog", except that this one is on a different site.
I have just finished my class. I'm actually enjoying myself this term. Less workload so there is really time to enjoy my students. Before I can't even find the time to just have fun because of all the papers to check and the lessons to prepare. Of course there's the ever present pressure brought about by the upcoming compre exam. Surprisingly, I feel that I have even that under control.
Well it wasn't always that easy. It took me a year to regain my confidence. Every term, I thought of taking it but good thing I waited. I feel more prepared this term. And by that I think I mean emotional preparation more than intellectual or mental.
Of course there is always the very real possibility of failing it yet again. But now I know and believe that I can actually do it. It may be hard but it's not impossible. I'm going to do it.