Alone Time

Today I decided to have my alone time. Armed with a couple of books, a notebook, a pen and my ipod (just in case), I set out to the mall. Of course I understand a mall is hardly a place to be alone in but there is much to be said about the contrast between being around people and yet being alone and separate from the crowd. And so I decided the mall will be the site of my alone time.

As I was having lunch at Burger King, facing the glass window outside, I saw a man with his two daughters and a son queuing at a Snowstorm kiosk. Their group's sudden movement as they turned away from the kiosk caught my attention. I sensed their delight more than saw it and so unnoticed, I watched more intently as the father gave a spoonful of ice cream to the son, a daughter, himself, and finally the eldest child and I was struck by the innocence and magic of it all: a family enjoying ice cream together on a Sunday afternoon. The whole thing lasted for only a few minutes and then they walked away. I'm guessing they had at most three spoonfuls each. But could there be anything sweeter as sharing ice cream with people you love on a bright Sunday afternoon?

And then I went window shopping, always a good exercise on solitude. I was successful at prying myself loose from all the yummy leather bags and sandals latching on to me as soon as they caught sight of me. I was not, however, successful at Powerbooks where I walked away with the scholarly Harold Bloom's "How to Read and Why," and the more obscure Lily Tuck's "Limbo and Other Places I Have Lived." They were on sale! And a lot cheaper than the shoes!!

Because I remembered I still had Starbucks gift certificates, I decided to continue being alone at Starbucks instead of the cafe of choice, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. As luck would have it, I was randomly chosen to answer an online survey and get a free tall drink on my next visit. Ha! A confirmation of how good things indeed come to good people (because I am not just holy, I am holier than thou, or so I have been told *giggles).

Of course now that I have Bloom's book, I could not help but read it first. Besides, why else would the universe let me find it today of all days when I had been after it since college? How fitting, to read a book about reading--itself a solitary act! And on a day I had especially designated to be an exercise on solitude.

I now leave with a quote from Hemingway's "The Snows of Kilimanjaro," one of the stories Bloom used as an example and one that struck me most because of how simple pain was laid out, "He had loved too much, demanded too much, and he wore it all out." That line reflects those rare times when pain is so beautiful that you cannot help but ache for more.

My First (Ob)Session of Masochistic Fun

At 7 tonight, I had the first session of my Mandarin lessons. I am, to say the least, exhausted. Two hours of mental acrobatic translations can do that to you. It's been almost two years since I last conversed in Mandarin for more than fifteen minutes and I am now all drained of whatever Chinese words that inhabited my brain.

But it was fun. Because my brain particularly enjoys getting a linguistic beating from time to time. It thrives at the sweet logic of language and the sensual sound of words as they roll off my tongue and escape my lips. It delights at each discovery of a new word, phrase, pattern... very much like a lover thrilled at the little pleasures of a new affair, so much more pleasant as they come to her in surprising little bursts... A new language, like a new lover, comes with so much promise, so rich with potential that one cannot just say no for fear of what one might miss.

Although come to think of it, Mandarin is hardly new to me; but a lover nonetheless--teasing and mysterious, revealing itself one day at a time. Just when I think I know enough, it takes off one more layer of its clothing, and then I realize again and again and yet again how there is always so much more to know. Because just as it reveals, concealed underneath is even more than I could ever fathom. For when does it end? Does it ever really end?

And oh it demands so much of me! How it demands so much of my time and energy, my patience and devotion, my passion and love. But despite it all, it refuses to be possessed. And that only makes me want more.

Thus the exhaustion.

It should be worth it. To love is to exhaust oneself for the beloved. Otherwise what's the point?

The Covers Project

I got this from good friend Trina, and as promised, I am reposting it here in the hopes that some artistic soul would read it and want to be part of it. So go, go, go!


Hey Joni!

Sending you an invitation for THE COVERS PROJECT, a collaborative art project by Filipino artists from around the world. Please check it out and let your friends know about it too! We're trying to rally 3000 Filipino artists to create one cover each for the first issue of the Art in Site magazine. It will be really cool.

Sincerely,
Trina




Where are all the amazing, brilliant Filipino artists?

The Covers Project count to date is 989 artists -- a great response given that we launched the project just 2 weeks ago. From the looks of it, Manila artists make up the list 3:1. We want ALL Filipino artists represented! Don't be shy. Create a cover for the Art in Site magazine at www.artinsitemagazine.com. You have 4 weeks to shout loud and proud from your corner of the world.

Thanks to those who have already signed up. If you know a friend (or two or three or four) holed up in their studio or in some region without internet, passionately working on their next latest and greatest -- please help us SPREAD THE WORD!

PHILIPPINES
1 Aklan
1 Albay
1 Amodeo
1 Bulacan
4 Antipolo
1 Antique
1 Aurora
1 Bacnotan
2 Bacolod
2 Bataan
7 Batangas
8 Benguet
4 Bicol
2 Bohol
17 Bulacan
24 Cavite
13 Cebu
6 Davao
3 Ilocos
13 IloIlo
1 Isabela
2 La Union
24 Laguna
2 Lanao del Norte
1 Leyte
5 Luzon
768 Manila
2 Mindoro
2 Palawan
9 Pampanga
3 Pangasinan
4 Negros
2 Nueva Viscaya
1 Sorsogon
1 Tagaytay
1 Tarlac
1 Taytay
1 Valenzuela
1 Zambales

THE REST OF THE WORLD
2 Australia
1 Belgium
1 Bosnia
1 Canada
1 Great Britain
1 Indonesia
1 Iceland
1 Japan
1 Saudi Arabia
1 Singapore
1 Thailand
1 Taiwan
32 USA
1 New Zealand

My PSA Work Area

I have been meaning to post pictures of my work area but never got to doing it. Since I've recently promised a friend I would, that gave me motivation at least.

It must be said that I nest. I can only feel comfortable in a place once I've surrounded myself with things familiar and loved. So yes, I am very comfortable in my work area.