Er... It's 2006...

How's my new year? I don't know, it just started.

Seriously, I don't even know where to start.

Last night was weird. Very weird. First, the nice part: My American friend and I went to this newly opened club called the Bee House Club. I heard that there were good pinoy performers and I really wanted to check them out. The place was fancy, food and drinks were overpriced. And yes, the pinoys were very good. And very nice. They were mixed with a Chinese band so they only get to sing one song each per set. They looked like they were really having fun onstage, in sharp contrast to the other band members who looked like they were about to fall asleep any minute. Anyway, we would chat in between their sets. They've been in TieLing for only a month. Everyone's being so nice to them except that nobody can understand them and they can't understand anyone. And why does every single song have to have tambourines in it?

Although they've been in China for a long time (Rey has been in China for nine years and Bernadette, eight), they mostly stayed in the south. They'll probably stay for two more months here in TieLing. He's originally from GenSan and she's from Baguio. Oh, and in China, Bernadette's temporary name is May. Oh yeah, Bernadette is a little too long for the Chinese people. I also learned that she has a 16-year-old daughter who's with her now (She definitely does not look like someone who has a 16-year-old daughter). She had her when she was seventeen. See, we learned a lot about each other. That's what you get when pinoys meet in a foreign country.

Another funny part of the night was this group of Chinese friends at the other table. One of them, I don't know which one and I'm sorry, invited me to dance. Of course you all know I can't dance but he didn't know that. So I tried telling him. I said, "Bu huei!" He said, "Huei!" There were several repetitions of this exact conversation but I will not bore you with that. Then out of nowhere, all of his friends appeared and dragged me to the dancefloor. Insert more of the "Bu huei!" "Huei!" here. So I figured, fine, whatever. I dragged May and the American guy (the friend that I came with who will remain nameless for reasons you will know later. But can we just call him NA for Nameless American so I won't have to keep on typing that later? Ok, so NA it is.) with me. No way was I going to go through this alone. This happened around three more times during the night. I did not even bother to protest during the second, third and fourth times, knowing the futility of it all. I just let myself be pulled and dragged and pushed. It was kinda fun too, in a way. While dancing with one of the guys, again don't ask me which (I wasn't even able to count how many there were), he asked if "lao gong sheng ci ma?" gesturing to NA. Roughly translated, "will your husband get angry?" Of course it was a ploy to find out if he were my husband/boyfriend/whatever. I said, "Ta bu shi wo de lao gong." All the while, NA was asking, "What? What's that?" which we both ignored because I really didn't want to explain. And especially after what had just happened, I still couldn't look at him.

So, what had just happened was... Countdown to the new year... countdowns are fine, I like countdowns, but... NA leaned over, said "Aren't you supposed to kiss during the new year?" Oh. God. This is not happening... I laughed weakly, in a tiny voice, "Yes." This was not supposed to happen. NO! He leaned even closer, lips puckered. Oh my gulay, help me!!! I gave a quick peck. Yes, the lips! What could I do? As if I had any choice! I knew he was expecting a long kiss but I quickly pulled away and turned somewhere else. The chair to my left (he was on my right) suddenly looked so interesting! Look away! Away! Wherever! He's 54 years old! I don't care what you say about breaking stereotypes or whatever! He's still 54 years old! Waaaa! And I'm sorry if I sound ageist! I have nothing against old people! I like them! I just don't go around kissing them! Aaaargh!

It still keeps on replaying in my mind. And I'm still cringing as I write this. So that's my new year, so far. Now stop asking!!! I made the telling as fast and painless as possible. No, I am never going to talk about this again.

Movie: Me and You and Everyone We Know

Start:	Dec 29, '05 10:00a
End:	Dec 29, '05 12:00p
Location:	home

Me and You and Everyone We Know

Rating:	★★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Drama

There is nothing impressive about the DVD cover. Looking at it, I was not really expecting too much. It looked like something from the early 90s, low budget, and just a tad melodramatic. I decided to gamble on it though because of the blurb at the back which says, "'Me and You and Everyone We Know' is a poetic and penetrating observation of how people struggle to connect with one another in an isolating and contemporary world." I figured, sure I would like to watch a poetic and penetrating observation of how people like myself try to connect with "everyone I know" and some whom I don't.

Let's just say that I am pleasantly surprised. Everything I like in a movie is here. It's intelligent and funny and sensitive and moving, and no it's not melodramatic. I can almost hear my Creative Writing profs lecturing on how it is very much possible to not be sentimental but still convey sentiments. This movie has certainly achieved that. Sure it's not full of beautiful people which I must admit are pleasant to watch, but for this movie, it works. It makes it even more endearing. They could be your next-door neighbors! And you actually start to care for these people! I know, I know, I'm gushing. One other thing, it was actually released in June 2005. That's as contemporary as it can get.

I think I must mention that this movie is written and directed by Miranda July, who also plays Christine, a multimedia artist, one of those doing the struggling to connect thingies. I'll be on the look out for more of her works. Check out this site too: http://www.comingsoon.net/films.php?id=8623

Dinner with friends

Start:	Dec 28, '05 7:00p
Location:	Big City Bbq

Hair Maintenance

Start:	Dec 21, '05 9:30a
End:	Dec 21, '05 10:30a
Location:	salon

Movie: Sixth Sense

Start:	Dec 27, '05 8:00p
End:	Dec 27, '05 10:00p
Location:	home

Christmas Lunch

I cooked it myself!!! Got the recipe from Rain.

Conversation with a Taxi Driver

Taxi drivers are one of the groups of people whom I consider both my teachers and a gauge for my mastery of the Chinese language. One: Most of them do not speak a word of English. Two: It is mighty important that they understand me. Three: They can be very entertaining. Especially when I understand what they're saying. What's good is that I seem to understand more of what's being said with each ride.

Today marks the fifth month of my stay in China, and here is my first conversation of the day:

JC: ShiZhuan.

TD: (repeated) ShiZhuan.

JC: The college.

TD: The one near LingDong?

JC: (visibly relieved) Right! Right!

TD: (looks at me strangely) You're not from TieLing?

JC: No.

TD: (looked more closely) Are you Chinese?

JC: (burst out laughing) No.

TD: Where are you from?

JC: I'm a Filipino.

TD: (muttered to himself) Oh, the Philippines. (To me) You speak Chinese very clearly.

JC: (tickled pink) Thank you!

TD: Do you study at ShiZhuan?

JC: No, I teach.

TD: Teach what?

JC: English.

TD: A foreign teacher. I didn't know TieLing has a foreign teacher.

JC: (thought of asking him how long he's been driving his taxi. How could he not know? There are other foreign teachers who look foreign. Decided against it.)

TD: How long have you been here?

JC: Five months.

TD: Where were you before? (But he said it in such a way that I wasn't sure if I got it right.)

JC: (making sure) Before coming to TieLing, where else in China?

TD: Right.

JC: Just TieLing.

TD: From the Philippines, you came straight to TieLing?

JC: Right.

TD: Your Chinese is really good.

JC: Thanks! I studied PuTongHua in the Philippines. Since I was really young.

TD: But your PuTongHua doesn't sound like PuTongHua. It sounds like (didn't understand this part. Sounds like "FangYian").

JC: Whats "FangYian"?

TD: It's the local language of a place here.

JC: My parents' parents were from the Fujian Province. (I didn't know how to say grandparents. I asked my students and it turned out there's no word for grandparents, just grandfather and grandmother. I knew how to say those! :p)

TD: (delighted) Oh! So that's why! Your PuTongHua sounds similar to the way people there speak.

JC: They speak MinNanHua.

TD: Right!

JC: But you're saying that my PuTongHua sounds similar to the way they would speak PuTongHua?

TD: Right.

JC: I wouldn't know. Maybe.

Sigh. You win some, you lose some. My students found this story really funny. :p

Lunch with Ruth

Start:	Dec 26, '05 12:00p
End:	Dec 26, '05 12:30p

WaiYan Christmas Party 24 Dec 2005

ShiZhuan and LongShou Mountain 22 Nov 2005

I went hiking with some of my ShiZhuan students

My First Chinese Christmas Party

Tuesday night. I attended a Christmas party sponsored by TieLing City's Foreign Affairs Office. In attendance were four foreign teachers from two private schools, the people from the Foreign Affairs Office and three overseas Chinese students (home for the holidays, I'm guessing).

I immediately noticed that one of the overseas students was cute. Very smooth skin. Nice smile. Moves with confidence. Funny. Hmm, too good to be true. He looked kinda young. I wondered if he was still in college. So I kept observing. He made perfect dumplings. I know, I watched him. We made dumplings as part of the Chinese way of celebrating Christmas (this is what they do during Spring Festival which is the Chinese version of Christmas, I was told) and I swear, he made them with such ease. It almost looked like watching a sculptor at work.

You have to understand that since coming here five months ago, I have only seen two cute Chinese guys. The first was a vendor selling sweets near AiKeMa, the supermarket I patronize. I ended up buying 32 rmb worth of the stupid sweets that I didn't even finish a quarter of (no, the sweets weren't stupid, I was). He was the second.

He was introduced as the son of the FAO boss. Oh-kay. He studied abroad! That means he could speak English! That means we could talk! Not to worry, the night was young.

One of the other students, a nice-looking-tall-thin girl, sat next to Era, another Filipino teaching at New Hope (a rival school). I don't know how exactly I got to that part of the room but I found myself talking to nice-looking-tall-thin girl. I found out that she was studying in the UK, so I asked if this was for college.

Nancy (American, also teaching at New Hope): No, she's taking her Masters.

Me: Oh ok. What's it on?

Nice-looking-tall-thin girl: Ph.D.

Me: Oh wow. On what?

She started to explain that it had something to do with the heart and the valves of the heart but I was probably too dumb to understand. Anyhow, at that point I was just staring at her with my mouth agape. When she finished talking...

Me: Oh. My. God. Wow.

Fastforward to me talking to Wendy...

Me to Wendy (Chinese friend): How old do you think he is?

Wendy: 21?

Me: Aaaaaargh. He's really cute.

Wendy: Yeah, he is.

Me (sighed): He's only the second cute guy I've seen in China. You remember the first one? The vendor?

Wendy (laughed): Oh yeah!

Wendy (in Chinese to Gao Shan, our headmaster): How old is the boss's son?

Gao Shan (in Chinese): 22.

Me (in English): NOOO!

Me (more in control): He can't be that young. You see this girl? She's already taking her Ph.D. They're friends so they might be around the same age.

Wendy: Hmm. Maybe. I'll ask him later.

Me (smiling): Great!

Later on, cute guy stood up to sing a song. Before singing, he said a little something about himself in Chinese. "I've been studying in England for three years now." Yeah, got that. "I'm here with (didn't understand)" gestured towards Ms. Ph.D. Wendy stared at me and said "He just said they're lovers." "What?" from me. "They're married. Because he said they're lovers. If she's just his girlfriend he would have said they're very good friends." Wait, too much information. Girlfriend? MARRIED? One more time. No, I changed my mind, don't say it again. 

I am cursed.

Did I mention his incredibly smooth skin? Did I mention his smile? Did I mention... Aaaargh! STOP! 

Ph.D on what? Shoot me now. And why do I have to have a damaged brain? (Oops, that's a different story. Ok, let me digress for awhile. It turned out that Gao Shan, my headmaster, knows palmistry. So one time, he read my palms and I must admit he was quite good. He was able to tell me things nobody in China could have known. One of which was that I'm healthy but I had a really serious illness when I was very young. I did! Everyone thought I wasn't going to survive. Well, I'm here :p. Anyway, this damaged a part of my brain. He said I would've been smarter. What? I could've been a genius? Aww, shit. So, anyway (again), every time I feel stupid, I blame it on the damaged part of my brain.)

Despite this (cute guy being married, not having a damaged brain although yeah, you could also add that if you want), I did have a good time at the party. And oh, have you seen the skipping rope I got? Maybe it's the universe's way of saying that if I work out... Nah!

And I did get to talk to him.

Him (going to our side of the room, smiling at me): Bye! Merry Christmas!

Me (smiling): Merry Christmas!

And this is me now rolling my eyes.

In fairness, Ms. Ph.D seemed really nice. She should be. People who have everything have no right to not be nice.

Christmas gifts for...

very expensive. but i've been drooling over them for years!

...myself!!! Okay, I might have overdone it. These are my Christmas, New Year's and birthday gifts to myself then.

gifts galore!

not really. these are just some of my early Christmas gifts :)

Signs of Christmas

These are random shots of shops with Christmas decors.

Christmas Party 20 Dec 2005

TieLing City's Foreign Affairs Bureau threw a Christmas Party for the foreign teachers in the city

Christmas Party

Start:	Dec 20, '05 4:00p
Location:	Hui Feng Hotel

sponsored by TieLing's Foreign Affairs Bureau

Missing Christmas in Pinas (a nostalgic entry)

In another part of the world, the night air is disturbed by occasional "Sa may bahay ang aming bati..." followed by "We wish you a merry Christmas..." and might even go on to finish the whole repertoire depending on how long the maybahay hands over a few coins to the carollers. In which case, the kids would immediately launch into "Thank you, thank you, ang babait ninyo. Tenk u!" Houses, churches, even trees are all lit up with festive multi-colored lights, with parols thrown in for the extra holiday-look. Traffic is at a standstill (would have steadily become heavier once the -ber months kick in until one wonders if she has accidentally entered a huge parking lot by December) and shopping malls are jampacked full of human bodies all rushing to buy last-minute presents for the myriads of relatives, friends and inaanaks; and all kinds of food imaginable for the traditional noche buena (where the last-minute presents will be distributed while getting stuffed so full with food).

Another one of the many firsts that I've had since coming to China is celebrating Christmas in a country whose poeple may not even be aware of the Judeo-Christian story of a poor baby being born in a manger. Coming from the Philippines where about 80% of the population are Catholics, one would not have been able to help it but be caught up in the festivities just by breathing the densely polluted Manila air. But instead, I'm breathing the moderately polluted TieLing air, which doesn't smell of Christmas at all. Oh, the sweet smell of freshly cooked bibingka and puto bumbong! Now that's a definite must-experience Pinoy Christmas staple. And yes, it is an experience. Yummy!

I know how I had always complained about the crass commercialism often attached to Christmas but I must admit I miss even that. I can almost feel the excitement of playing monito monita and trying to guess who my "mommy" is. And then there's the gift-giving and gift-recycling. Trying to figure out who'll have much better use of the mugs from last Christmas can be challenging and fun. And even the wrapping of the gifts! It's almost a traditional event. Nuna and I would always reserve a whole day just for the Christmas gift-wrapping. I remember one Christmas when we decided to go environmentally friendly and wrapped the gifts using old newspapers and magazines. Of course people just thought we were cheapskates, which we also were. (And I still am, actually.) Sigh...

And to think that this is the first Christmas when there'll be real snow when I look outside my window... I have yet to make a snowman, by the way. I avoid going out as much as possible due to the extreme cold weather. I cannot even imagine how cold it would be to actually play in the snow. I just might turn into a human popsicle. Can't risk that. No wonder Rudolph's nose is red. Any exposed flesh turns red in a matter of minutes and my own nose is permanently red outdoors. Good thing the Chinese don't know Rudolph so they can't tease me about that.

Needless to say, there's no place like home. Especially during Christmas.

Waiyan Christmas Party

Start:	Dec 24, '05 7:00p
End:	Dec 24, '05 9:00p
Location:	South School

Lunch with Ruth and Emily

Start:	Dec 19, '05 12:00p
End:	Dec 19, '05 12:30p
Location:	TieLing Normal College

Dinner with friends

Start:	Dec 18, '05 8:00p
Location:	Big City Bbq

Shopping

Start:	Dec 15, '05 9:00a
Location:	LongShou Market, AKM, Converse

peaches and strawberries

For four straight days now, I've been trying to open a bottle of preserved strawberries. I've tried every trick in the book. I've used all my strength (which I admit is not very much) to turn the lid to where the arrow says "open" that my hand has actually been hurting for days (four days, specifically). I've heated the edges of the lid, supposedly to make the metal expand (at least that would be my explanation if someone asks me what the hell I'm doing). I've tapped the edges of the lid with the dull end of the knife a thousand times (for this I don't really have a scientific explanation but I just remember someone doing it back home). And still, the bottle sits in front of me, unopened. Those luscious red strawberries mock me as I see them yummily squeezed together in sweet syrup. I am droooooooling.

Stubborn Strawberries actually had a companion. Together with Pretty Peaches (I don't know, I just want an alliteration here), I bought SS from my friendly neighbors who own the grocery store on the ground floor. Yes, the same store where I bought my still, after all this time, unidentified flavored milk from months back. Anyway, PP (oops, that definitely doesn't sound nice) also gave me a hard time at the start. It took me two days to get her to surrender her... wait a minute, do I dare write it? ...her pure plump goodness for my pleasure. (Hahaha! I have to laugh. Sorry about that.) It was the knife-tapping (ooh, phallic symbol!) that eventually did it. (Well, well, there must be a scientific explanation then.) Which is why in between sentences, I would have to pause and tap tap tap the hell out of SS's lid.

It is moments like this that I almost wish there is a man in the house. (Not so he could tap tap tap the strawberries nor the peaches, godforbid!) Or at least that I don't live alone. That way there'll be someone to share the problem with. Or, even better, I can conveniently pass the problem to someone else as the someone else in question finds a solution for it. Not like now when I could only helplessly stare at them damn berries through the glass (drooling by myself) as my hand gets as red as these horribly sumptious seductively sweet strawberries just barely out of my tongue's reach.

Seriously, I would really want this friggin bottle opened. The only other solution I can think of is to run downstairs and have my neighbors open it for me. By tomorrow, I just might do that. I think they're closed for the night. 

*Because I am aware that you, Nuna, would want revenge. I generously supplied the Freudian reading rather than have you do it for me. :p

**I promise to post a worthier entry next time. For now, it was either this or my friendster horoscope. You know what I chose. Yawn. Off to bed.

Movie: Wayne's World 2

Start:	Dec 13, '05 6:45p
End:	Dec 13, '05 8:30p
Location:	home

Lunch with Mary's family

Start:	Dec 4, '05 12:00p
End:	Dec 4, '05 12:45p
Location:	Mary's home

Hang Out

Start:	Dec 5, '05 2:00p
End:	Dec 5, '05 4:00p
Location:	Karen Coffee

Movies: Dorm Daze, Closer

Start:	Dec 12, '05 7:00p
End:	Dec 12, '05 9:45p
Location:	home

Lunch with students

Start:	Dec 12, '05 12:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Movies: Little Black Book, 9/11, Bowling for Columbine, Graves for Fireflies

Start:	Dec 7, '05 10:00a
Location:	home

Movies: Punch-Drunk Love; Dude, Where's My Car?

Start:	Dec 11, '05 7:30p
End:	Dec 11, '05 11:00p
Location:	home

Pingpong and dinner with John

Start:	Dec 10, '05 5:00p
Location:	gym, CBC

Ultimate Narcissism

One lazy Sunday afternoon, I locked myself up in the bathroom and tried taking my own pictures. These are the results...

Dinner with friends

Start:	Dec 6, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Shopping with Wendy

Start:	Dec 8, '05 10:00a
End:	Dec 8, '05 11:30a
Location:	Adidas Shop

Dinner with friends

Start:	Dec 2, '05 7:00p
Location:	Big City Bbq

Rest day!

Start:	Dec 1, '05
Location:	home

Finally, snow!

This is my first winter. That's enough explanation why I have so many pictures of snow.

Dinner with friends

Start:	Nov 29, '05 8:00p
Location:	TieLing City outskirts

Shopping

Start:	Nov 29, '05 3:00p
Location:	LongShou Market

Dinner with friends

Start:	Nov 28, '05 6:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Movie: Quills

Start:	Nov 27, '05 6:00p
End:	Nov 27, '05 8:00p
Location:	home

Thanksgiving "Party" and Dinner

Start:	Nov 24, '05 5:30p
Location:	South School

Literary Breather

Start:	Nov 24, '05 11:00a
End:	Nov 24, '05 4:00p
Location:	Karen Coffee

Loving and Letting Go

"There is not enough room in this world for my pain." --Ghost, Indigo Girls

I am now ready to break my silence. I suppose this is what everyone's waiting for anyway. So finally, here it is. A declaration of sorts. A confirmation. Yes, we have broken up.

I could give a variety of reasons. It does not even matter which are true and which I just imagined. One's reality is but one's illusions anyway. A sum of all she believes to be true, real or not.

I have kept quiet for a number of reasons too. One of which is that I'm not sure how to talk about it. Blame it on the writer's curse. I always feel that I have to thoroughly process my thoughts before I can release them to the universe. So release them, I will.

LB and I had been together for what seems like a lifetime. A lifetime that proved to be too short. Now all the songs about not knowing how life was before him take on a different meaning. I do not remember how it was not to have him holding my hand, keeping me close. I do not remember how it was not to have someone to laugh with at the silliest of things. I do not remember how it felt like to not love.

Today, my ten-year-old student asked me what caused the break up. Didn't he want me to leave the country? Was he bad to me? I had to smile inspite of myself. I wish it were that simple. It would have been so much easier to let go of someone who treats you badly. I still think of him as one of the best people in my life. That does not, and will not, change just because we are no longer together. No regrets. No bitterness. On hindsight, I would still have done all that I did, would still gladly go through all this, for those three wonderful years with him. How can one explain to a child that sometimes, one just has to move on?

I am moving on. This, in effect, is a cleansing ritual. I have had too many heartaches in life to know that this will not kill me. It can get unbearably lonely at times. But even that is welcome. I have known sadness. I have known pain. They can be sweet.

Tutorial Session

Start:	Nov 23, '05 9:00a
End:	Nov 23, '05 11:00a
Location:	home

Work out

Start:	Nov 23, '05 1:00p
End:	Nov 23, '05 2:00p
Location:	gym

Tutorial Session

Start:	Nov 22, '05 9:00a
End:	Nov 22, '05 11:00a
Location:	home

Mountain-Climbing

Start:	Nov 22, '05 3:00p
End:	Nov 22, '05 4:00p
Location:	LongShou Mountain

Lunch with Ruth, Emily, Diana and Joanna

Start:	Nov 21, '05 12:00p
End:	Nov 21, '05 11:30p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:

Nov 21, '05 8:00p

with Sunrise, Paul, John and Rain

Movie: Mail Order Bride

Start:	Nov 18, '05 6:00a
End:	Nov 18, '05 8:00a
Location:	home

Movie: Eating

Start:	Nov 21, '05 4:00p
End:	Nov 21, '05 6:00p
Location:	home

my birthday 2005

with the O kada. It was actually a New Year's Celebration of sorts but because it was on my birthday, I'd like to think of it as my birthday celebration. Hehe. Talk about being self-centered. For clearer prints, visit this site http://asia.pg.photos.yahoo.com/ph/delirium_cookie81/album?.dir=/48c2&.src=ph

Work out

Start:	Nov 18, '05 1:00p
End:	Nov 18, '05 2:00p
Location:	gym

Dinner with friends

Start:	Nov 18, '05 6:30p
Location:	Big City Bbq

Lunch with Vicky, Yolanda, Rain and Ivy

Start:	Nov 16, '05 1:00p
Location:	home

Movie: A Life Less Ordinary

Start:	Nov 14, '05 9:00p
End:	Nov 14, '05 11:00p
Location:	home

Lunch with Ruth and Emily

Start:	Nov 14, '05 12:00p
End:	Nov 14, '05 12:45p
Location:	TieLing City

A Taste of Heaven

Last night I had the most pleasant dream.

My Amah and I were on our way home. We were both sitting on the passenger seat of the car, presumably it was also very cramped at the back. I had my left arm around her, and she was holding both my hands. I kept on kissing her and pulling her close to me, lightly because she was so tiny. I was afraid to hurt her. I was thinking that I was always wishing to have just ten minutes with her, and it had finally happened. I also thought I was so lucky that she got well and we could spend time together again. In real life, she died when I was ten. In my dream, she got sick but had finally recovered. She looked so good. She was always smiling at me and I was so happy to have her back again.

We were planning to get off somewhere. It was not clear where exactly. She turned around to talk to someone at the back and when she faced the front, we had already missed our stop. We could always go next week, we said. There was something that made me feel that next week would be too late. But we didn't care, we said we'd go next week.

Cut to the next scene. We were in a mall. We were hand in hand as we were so many times before. Grandmother and child, except the child is a full head taller now. I asked her if she wanted to have dinner. She said she wanted/had to go home early. I'm not sure now which word she used. I said okay. I saw a stall very similar to Supermelt. It had the logo of Supermelt but the name started with an E. Can anybody tell me if there's an Ensaymadamelt or Empanadamelt? I was trying to read the sign but somehow I couldn't make out the whole word. Anyway, I asked her if she wanted ensaymada or empanada, whichever it was. We could buy them and just take them home. She said she didn't have money. I told her not to worry, I'd buy her some.

For some weird reason, I did not have my bag with me. I had to go to another part of the mall, not a baggage counter although somewhat similar. There were quite a lot of bags lined up. I told her she should look around and find what else she wanted so we could buy them when I come back. 

When I returned, Akoh, Auntie Rita, Aling Miding and someone else I seemed to know but could not quite put my finger on were there. I could only make out that the person was tall. We were both very surprised to see them. I was rummaging in my bag, looking for my wallet while asking Amah what kind of ensaymada/empanada she wanted. I think I told her we should just get special one. Can somebody tell me how much Supermelt costs? Because in my dream, the price ranges from P15 to P17 each. I don't know if that's realistic. I turned around to ask Akoh if they would also want some. Then I woke up.

I woke up feeling so peaceful. I do believe she visited me that night. Before I went to sleep, I was feeling particularly sad and unloved. I think that was her way of comforting me. She is watching over me after all. When she said she wanted or had to go home early, I assumed we were going home together. Now I realize she was telling me that she didn't have that much time to be with me. She had to go even before I was able to buy her the food to take to where her home is now. I suddenly just woke up although there was no noise nor movement that would have caused me to. But it was enough. It was perfect. We were so happy the whole time. It was like heaven. Maybe next week we could go have a trip again. We did say we'd go next week.

Dinner with Dale and mom, Linda and mom, Daisy

Start:	Nov 13, '05 4:45p
End:	Nov 13, '05 6:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Movie: Monster-in-law

Start:	Nov 6, '05 5:00p
End:	Nov 6, '05 6:30p
Location:	Rain's apartment

Movie: Amityville Horror

Start:	Nov 5, '05 10:00p
Location:	Rain's apartment

Movie: Beautiful People

Start:	Nov 12, '05 7:15p
Location:	home

Dinner with friends

Start:	Nov 12, '05 5:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Hang Out

Start:	Nov 11, '05 3:00p
End:	Nov 11, '05 4:00p
Location:	Rain's apartment

Dinner with friends

Start:	Nov 11, '05 6:30p
Location:	Pigeon Place

Dinner at the Pigeon Place 11 Nov 2005

Another Dinner 10 Nov 2005

Dinner with friends

Start:	Nov 10, '05 6:30p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:	Nov 9, '05 8:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Who's dead?!

This is way too much.

Today, I found out that Raul Roco is dead. He died in August. Yesterday, I stumbled on a website that informed me that Katie Holmes is pregnant. They (Holmes and Cruise) gave the official announcement last month. The other day, I learned that Haydee Yorac, too, (not pregnant) but has passed away more than a month ago. What?! Where was I when all these were happening? Oh right, in China. But still! It's not as if I'm on the other side of the earth.

Where was I? More like in a black hole. How come people failed to mention these things to me? Yeah, yeah, I've heard about the e-vat, the price of gasoline, those beasts who call themselves American GIs. But then again, these are old news. I've heard this a hundred times in my lifetime. The names change, the number, the faces. Can anybody actually count how many American GIs have been charged of rape and how many of them have been tried on Philippine soil? If tried at all? Which is not to say that I'm making light of it just because it has happened so many times. That's why I want people to prove me wrong this time. Go on. Do I have to beg? Ok, please please, prove me wrong just this one time.

But come on. Raul Roco? Nobody even thought it important enough to tell me that he's dead? I loved that guy. I voted for him and I would have voted for him again any day. If memory serves me right, he was one of those who opposed the Visiting Forces Agreement. And being an honorary woman, those assholes wouldn't even stand a chance. But he's dead! And Haydee Yorac too!

Now who do we have left? Oh, there's GMA desperately clinging on to power. I am eagerly anticipating how the GMA administration would handle this rape case. I won't be surprised if she calls up Bush to apologize. "So sorry George, it was her fault. She shouldn't have gone to Subic in the first place. Oh I just love kissing your ass." God, I would have been so proud to have a woman president. Shit.

God, am I not bitter today? Let's just say that I'm not in a particularly sunny mood today for reasons that I will not disclose just yet. Sorry to take it out on everyone. Call it stress. Call it a breakdown. Call it whatever you like. If I were to give it a name, I'd just call it High Mountain.

Going back to what I was originally talking about, this now leads me to Katie Holmes. Ok, I don't really care that much if she's pregnant or what but I was very surprised to hear that she is. Pregnant, I mean. I must admit I was one of those who raised an eyebrow when I first heard about this Holmes-Cruise romance. Well, good for them.

Does that mean I don't stand a chance with Tom Cruise anymore? Haha! First joke of the day. I know it's not that funny. Reward me for the effort though. That took quite a lot. Sigh, I don't even have a kid yet and at the rate my country's deteriorating, by the time I do I might not even have a country to call my own.

I know I know! I should run for president. Quick! Start raising funds. Now! I don't know, rob a bank or something. Haha! Ok, so my sense of humor is not that good. At least I'm not the president.

**They should also make a tape out of that phone call. It will be called the "Hello George" tape. Admit it, that one's funny.

Shopping with Yonada and Yonada's mom

Start:	Nov 8, '05 3:30p
Location:	AKM

Tutorial Session

Start:	Nov 8, '05 9:00a
End:	Nov 8, '05 11:00a
Location:	home

Drinking with friends

Start:	Nov 6, '05 10:00p
Location:	Big City Bbq

Dinner with friends

Start:	Nov 4, '05 8:00p
Location:	Big City Bbq

Sleep-over at Rain's

Start:	Nov 5, '05 5:00p
Location:	Rain's apartment

Waiyan dinner

Start:	Nov 6, '05 7:00p
End:	Nov 6, '05 10:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Drinking Party aka Dinner

Milk Massage with Wendy

Start:	Nov 2, '05 10:30a
End:	Nov 2, '05 11:30a
Location:	TieLing City

The Sassy Lawyer

http://houseonahill.net/
This site is nominated in the Best of the Blogs' Best Journalistic Blog category. Here is the blurb from BOBs' site (now that's too much alliteration right there):
This journal is one of five blogs from "Sassy," a self-described Filipina attorney, wife and mother. She regularly applies her legal scholarship and incisive logic to demands for fairness and accuracy in the media -- among many other things. She's an unflinching fact checker who reviles propaganda and innuendo masquerading as facts.

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 31, '05 6:00p
Location:	TieLing City

No All Saints' Day for Me

This is the first time in many years that I will not be going to the cemetery with my family on All Saints' Day. I've been feeling sad about it for days and needless to say, I can't really do much about it. I can just imagine the preparations going on at home now. Akoh must have taken care of the food they'll be bringing, Papa must have put the tent in the car by now, Sakoh will be arranging and rearranging the flowers, Nenet and the other kids will be so excited they'll have a hard time getting to bed.

I was explaining Halloween to my students today. I also told them about the Filipino tradition of visiting the graves of departed loved ones and how this occasion is as much for the living as it is for the dead. Looking at it from that angle, the dead provide the opportunity for the living to just be with each other, and in an almost ironic way, celebrate life. It is a good time to be with the most important people in one's life amidst the confusion of everyday living.

Well, if I'm sad about not being home for this day, Akoh and the people back home must be feeling worse. It seems like everyone's leaving home. My eldest sister, Janice, left for New York last Saturday. Jona is currently in Bangkok shooting a documentary and won't be back until the 3rd. I wanted to call home tonight just to let Akoh know I haven't forgotten what day it is, but I wasn't able to buy phone cards. Sigh.

But most of all, I miss my Amah, the one person in my life who's probably responsible for my sanity. It's been fifteen years but there is no day in my life that I don't think of her and hope she knows how much I love her. I dedicate this entry to her.

Life in China 2

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 30, '05 5:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 29, '05 6:00p
Location:	TieLing City

My Friendster Horoscope

The Bottom Line

You've accomplished great things, but staying grounded and humble is wise.

In Detail

You're grounded, you're focused and you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. How about setting your mind to something a little more unusual, for a bit of a change of pace? When was the last time you talked to your college roommate, or better yet, your date for your senior prom? Maybe it's time to reconnect. If you don't have their contact info, do a bit of research and see what you can find. An email from a long lost friend could make anyone's day.

Hmm, lemme see. I went to the prom with my friends. My "date", if we must call him that, has recently gotten engaged. I hope I get invited to the wedding (hint hint).

Out with friends

Start:	Oct 26, '05 10:00p
Location:	Face to Face KTV

Movie: American Beauty

Start:	Oct 26, '05 9:00p
Location:	home

Gearing up for Winter

Here are some of the things that I will have to rely on to get me through the cold. Brrrr....

Miss International 2005

Time out from all the talk about the UAAP and the college wars. There just might be a part three of that, but for now here's a breather.

While I'm not a huge fan of beauty contests, there is no mistaking the fact that I was quite ecstatic to find out that Ms. Philippines actually won this year's Ms. International. I only found out about it days after the pageant since I'm currently living in a different part of the world. Since then, I was really curious about the question and answer portion. See, when I do watch beauty pageants, I'm always entertained by the more often absurd answers that contestants give. Of course sometimes, there are also the equally absurd questions. Anyway, I finally got hold of "the winning answer" and I must say that I am very impressed. She said it so perfectly that I would have given her a standing ovation for it. Mabuhay! :)

So here it is...

"MABUHAY! Representing the democratic and freedom loving people of the Pearl of the Orient, I am Precious Lara Guigaman, from the beautiful country of THE PHILIPPINES"

One of the difficult questions asked was:

Q: "What do you say to the people of the world who have typecasted Filipinos as nannies?"

Precious Lara: "I take no offence on being typecasted as a nanny. But I do take offence that the educated people of the world have somehow denegrated the true sense and meaning of what a nanny is. Let me tell you what she is. She is someone who gives more than she takes. She is someone you trust to look after the very  people most precious to you - your child, the elderly, yourself. She is the one who has made a living out of caring and loving other people. So to those  who have typecasted us as nannies, thank you. It is a testament to the loving and caring culture of the Filipino people. And for that, I am forever proud and grateful of my roots and culture."

(She received a deafening applause from the audience.)

Movie: Headrush

Start:	Oct 25, '05 7:00p
End:	Oct 25, '05 9:00p
Location:	home

Shopping with Wendy

Start:	Oct 25, '05 8:15a
Location:	LongShou Market

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 24, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Shopping and dinner with Rain

Start:	Oct 23, '05 5:00p
Location:	Happy Family, TieLing City

Movie: Braveheart

Start:	Oct 19, '05 10:00a
End:	Oct 19, '05 12:00p
Location:	home

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 22, '05 5:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Movie: American Short Shorts

Start:	Oct 18, '05 8:00a
End:	Oct 18, '05 10:00p
Location:	home

Movie: Kung Fu Hustle

Start:	Oct 19, '05 8:00a
End:	Oct 19, '05 10:00a
Location:	home

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 19, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Start:	Oct 20, '05 8:00p
End:	Oct 20, '05 10:00p
Location:	home

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 21, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 17, '05 6:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with Dale and mom, Daisy

Start:	Oct 15, '05 5:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with Rain

Start:	Oct 14, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Shopping with Wendy

Start:	Oct 13, '05 9:00a
End:	Oct 13, '05 2:00p
Location:	LongShou Market, Attraction, Happy Family

Dinner with Dale and mom, Linda and mom, Daisy

Start:	Oct 13, '05 5:00p
Location:	Dale's house

Movie: A Lot Like Love

Start:	Sep 16, '05 10:30a
End:	Sep 16, '05 12:00p
Location:	home

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 10, '05 7:30p
Location:	TieLing City

Movie: Chicago

Start:	Oct 9, '05 1:30p
End:	Oct 9, '05 3:00p
Location:	home

Movie: Yesterday Once More

Start:	Oct 9, '05 10:30a
End:	Oct 9, '05 12:00p
Location:	home

Movie: Ryan

Start:	Oct 8, '05 7:00p
End:	Oct 8, '05 8:15p
Location:	home

Movie: Possession

Start:	Oct 8, '05 5:00p
End:	Oct 8, '05 7:00p
Location:	home

Meeting with Wendy and Gao Shan

Start:	Oct 8, '05 4:00p
End:	Oct 8, '05 4:30p
Location:	home

Dinner with friends

Start:	Oct 8, '05 8:30p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:

Oct 5, '05 7:00p

Ryan

Rating:	★★★★★
Category:	Movies
Genre:	Documentary

This movie is alternately funny and depressing. It tells the life of an animator, Ryan Larkin, who showed so much promise as a young man. He was nominated for the Oscars thirty years ago. It shows him now as a homeless forgotten genius begging for spare change.
His is a life that every artist fears. How can one create something that equals his last masterpiece? What happens if his well of creativity runs dry? "Sometimes it's not about the money" but why does it still matter anyway?
It's been a long time since I last felt totally moved by a movie. It's so good it will make you want to weep.

Shopping with Blaze, Doris and Rain

Start:	Oct 3, '05 11:00a
Location:	ZhengZhou

Drinking with friends

Start:	Oct 3, '05 9:00p
Location:	Be There or Be Square, ZhengZhou

Amusement Park

Start:	Oct 3, '05 7:00p
Location:	ZhengZhou

Shopping with Blaze, Doris and Rain

Start:	Oct 1, '05 11:00a
Location:	ZhengZhou

Shopping with Blaze and Doris

Start:	Oct 2, '05 11:00a
Location:	ZhengZhou

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 30, '05 7:00p
Location:	Pizza Company, ZhengZhou

Blaze, Doris, Joel, Amy, Rain

Leave for TieLing

Start:	Oct 4, '05 3:00p
Location:	Bus Station

Massage

Start:	Oct 1, '05 9:00p
Location:	ZhengZhou

ZhengZhou

I went to ZhengZhou with Rain for a few days. We weren't able to go anywhere fancy but I managed to take some pictures while on the bus on our way home. These are attempts to capture the ordinary ZhengZhou life.

Leave for ZhengZhou

Start:	Sep 29, '05 4:00p
Location:	Shenyang Train Station

Hair Maintenance

Start:	Sep 27, '05 10:00a
End:	Sep 27, '05 11:00a
Location:	TieLing City

Angkang Bilingual Community Party

Start:	Sep 28, '05 4:30p
End:	Sep 28, '05 6:30p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 27, '05 6:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Movie: Hero

Start:	Sep 27, '05 1:00p
End:	Sep 27, '05 3:00p
Location:	home

Movie: Smile

Start:	Sep 26, '05 1:00p
End:	Sep 26, '05 3:00p
Location:	home

Meeting with Gao Shan

Start:	Sep 25, '05 6:00p
End:	Sep 25, '05 7:00p
Location:	South School

with Rain and Wendy

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 25, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

English Corner

Start:	Sep 25, '05 5:30p
End:	Sep 25, '05 7:00p
Location:	South School

cancelled

Lunch with Rain

Start:	Sep 24, '05 11:00a
End:	Sep 24, '05 1:00p
Location:	CBC

Reality Bites... and so does the cold

Two months in China has done for me what more than twenty-five years in the Philippines never did: I gained ten pounds. Conclusion: China is fattening. There must be something in the food. Or it might be the beer. Or the air... Hmmm.

Speaking of air, it is becoming colder and colder. Today, I could hardly move my fingers as I was walking to the school. I was wearing two layers of clothing, mind you. And even when I was indoors, I could still feel my knees trembling. I really need to go and buy winter clothes. The thing is, I have no idea what kind. Waaaa! Blame it on my being raised in a tropical country.

I am gradually settling into my life here. I have gotten used to the different sights of the city, sometimes brutal sounds of an alien tongue, and even the smells of bathrooms (although I wish they'd do something about that). I want to come up with a schedule of sorts though. I've been out almost every night for the past two weeks and if this goes on, my novel is going to go nowhere. And I will never be able to forgive myself if that happens. So it won't. Trust me on that.

In the beginning, I would tell myself that if I really couldn't stand it, I could always just go back home. I would have had my little adventure, then it would be time to go back to reality. I remember describing to a friend how I felt that time. How it was like I was floating somewhere above me. I was saying the right things, doing what were expected of me, but I wasn't really there. It was like being in a dream that I could wake up from when I want to.

When things started to slowly and steadily become a reality, I'm not really sure. This has ceased to be a dream, but has turned into my life. Real life. And it's not something I could run away from if something upsets me. It has become my reality. And I'm living it.

Coffee, Beer, and Ping Pong

Start:	Sep 23, '05 9:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with Anne Marie and Rain

Start:	Sep 23, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

After two months...

Today, it is exactly two months since I boarded the plane that will take me all the way from the land of my birth to the land of my ancestors. And here is what my Friendster horoscope has to say about my day:

The Bottom Line

Embrace change today -- new opportunities will create exciting travel opportunities.

In Detail

Right now you feel like you're in limbo, but think of it as more of an astrological waiting room rather than a grey area. You're actually preparing to do something rather daring or out-of-character. Perhaps you're ending an old friendship or relationship that's too limiting, or ready to renew an alliance that has some life in it yet. The stars encourage (and reward) bravery, so get ready, get set ... and go!

English Corner

Start:	Sep 18, '05 5:30p
End:	Sep 18, '05 7:00p
Location:	South School

cancelled

Dentist's appointment

Start:	Sep 20, '05 3:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 22, '05 8:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Drinking with friends

Start:	Sep 20, '05 9:00p
Location:	Bar

Dinner with Dale and mom, Linda and mom, Rain

Start:	Sep 20, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Pia's Wedding (2 April 2005)

Of Dragons and a Monk

These were also taken in Shenyang City, the capital of LiaoNing Province.

Shopping with Wendy

Start:	Sep 19, '05 6:00a
Location:	Shenyang

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 19, '05 6:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Traditional Chinese Fashion

The clothes look so much better when I'm wearing them. No joke.

ShenYang

A quick look at traditional Chinese architecture

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 17, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Four dinners with so many people

Start:	Sep 18, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Lunch with Daisy, Dale and mom, Linda and mom

Start:	Sep 18, '05 12:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 16, '05 8:00p
Location:	Bill and Helen's home

Random Thoughts

I just finished writing a long entry but something went wrong with the stupid computer and everything disappeared. Grrrrrrr! I hate it when that happens. I feel like strangling the computer except I know it won't do any good. Aaaaaargh!

I have not been writing. I've been too busy and tired for the past week. And I must admit I've also been very lazy. Putting it off for a long time makes it even harder to write again. I just don't know where to begin now.

I've been reading Karina's journal and I got inspired by her posts enough to make me want to write at two o'clock in the morning. That girl (ok, woman. You have to forgive me but sometimes I still think of you as the freshperson you were in my LITERA1 class years ago) has grown up to be a smart, articulate and philosophical intellectual. I feel underservedly proud to read her entries and realize that here is a woman who thinks and feels and knows how to live her life. I humor myself into thinking that I have somehow, even just a tiny little bit, been responsible for some of her thoughts about life. I'm sure she'd still be the same great person that she turns out to be even if she never met me but it just warms my heart to know that she was once my student. It's a teacher's conceit. Once again, I apologize.

I have been feeling down lately. It might be because I've been really tired. All the late nights must be catching up on me. One night, I psyched myself up about calling my sister back home only to get really disappointed because the call just won't get through. My friends and I have tried every way possible just to make that one phone call, to no avail. It felt even worse because it should not have been that big a deal. I felt bad making my friends worry about me for nothing.

Speaking of disappointments, one of the biggest disappointments of China is the mooncake. We recently celebrated the Mid-Autumn Day Festival and there were mooncakes everywhere. I've eaten quite a lot of different kinds but I must say that absolutely nothing compares to Ongpin's mooncakes. Absolutely nothing. Some are okay. But a lot of others are what-the-hell-you-call-this-a-mooncake-it's-just-hopia-back-home. And to think I should be in mooncake heaven by now. We must be importing those mooncakes from Taiwan and Hong Kong, then. That's the only explanation I can come up with.

This will read like a chain reaction kind of entry but speaking of Taiwan, I met a man who was actually born and raised in Taiwan. I've been out to dinner with him and some friends a couple of times. The first time, I got so messed up I puked so many times I couldn't even keep count. The second time was tonight and I must congratulate myself because I can still type as fast as I normally would. This man is the only person I've met here so far whom I can actually speak Hokkien with and it's just wonderful. My Hokkien is definitely below average. I've forgotten most of it since I haven't been using it that much but I've always referred to it as "the language of my lost past." There's just something about it that takes me straight to my childhood. It rattles something deep within.

In my class today, I was asked the by now familiar question of whether or not I like China. Of course the standard reply is yes, I love it. Which is true. But what surprised me was my saying that I consider China as my second country, my second home. I've been feeling this way even before coming here but that was the first time that I actually put it into words and released it to the universe. I adore my Angkong and I wanted to come here to see his people and his country. Of course China is way different than it was during his time. Still, there's something about knowing that the blood that runs through my veins is as much Chinese as the next person's sitting beside me on the bus. I may be Filipino in all the other aspects like the way I think, act and speak, and I love it, but there's always that part of me that still is Chinese and there's no way of denying that.

I love the Philippines and it will always be home, no matter how many times I complain about everything that's humanly possible to complain about. I love it so much I wept while I was watching Dr. Lumbera's "Hibik at Himagsik nina Viktoria Laktaw" just about the time they raised the Philippine flag towards the end. That was really embarrassing because I could imagine a fourth of the people in the theater staring right at me while I control my sobs. That being said, I just might have found a place away from home.

It's been a bunch of mixed emotions lately. I wish I could explain it better. Let's just say that there are certain unfortunate events that have transpired. But the good things far outweigh the bad. And if you know the bad, you would say I'm stupid for saying these things. But just trust me on this one.

Now I'll go and watch a sappy romantic movie. That would make me feel better. Of course I'd probably fall asleep halfway into it. Time check: 2:49AM. Still, I'm in the mood for a chick flick now. Sue me.

Shop for DVDs

Start:	Sep 14, '05 2:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 15, '05 6:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 13, '05 6:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Hang Out

Start:	Sep 12, '05 9:00a
End:	Sep 12, '05 4:00p
Location:	LongXiang School

Mountain-Climbing

Start:

Sep 12, '05 4:00p

with Rain

Life in the Countryside 12 Sept 2005

Taken by Rain

Dinner at Rain's Place

We are Great by Isagani R. Cruz

I am reprinting Dr. Isagani R. Cruz's article "We are Great" (without his permission but I hope he won't mind). For people not in the know, IRC has one of the most brilliant minds in the country. Okay, I may be biased but I can't help it, I love the man. I had him for CONTLIT (Contemporary Literature) and TEACHLI (The Teaching of Literature) when I was an undergrad at DLSU and I worked for him briefly just before I started teaching. Needless to say, he molded many of my ideas and maybe without him meaning to, I've always considered him as one of my literary fathers.

We Are Great by Isagani Cruz

Many of us Filipinos think that we are like Americans.  We are not.  We may look American, with all the American food chains around or the American movies in our malls or our trying-hard American English, but we are not American in the way that matters most.  Americans are Americans not because of the food they eat nor the movies they watch nor the language they speak.

Americans are Americans because they love America. Americans are proud of who, what, and where they are.  That is the one way in which I wish we would be like Americans.

You will find it difficult to find an American who will say that the United States is nothing compared to, say, France. Americans may shy away from the junk food served in fast food chains, but they will not say that fast food on the streets of, say, Thailand is more nutritious.  American may say their movies are junk, but they will never say that the movies of, say Hong Kong are better. American educators may publicly lament the way their high school graduates mangle the English language, but they will never say that the English is spoken better by the youth in, say, Australia.

To Americans, America is the best country in the world.

In contrast, what do we think in the Philippines? It is very difficult to find Filipinos who think that the Philippines is the best country in the world.  A survey many years back found that most Filipinos would like to have been born in the United States. Ten percent of our population have actually left for other countries, and the remaining 90 percent almost certainly wish they had left just as well.   Even our "nationalist" rebel groups often think that China is better than our country.  Most Filipinos may think that Filipino food is much better than any other kind of food, but not very many Filipinos think Filipino movies are much better than American movies nor that Cebuano, Ilocano, Tagalog, or any other Philippine language is much better than English.

Many foreigners point out that we Filipinos like to bash our own country.  Nowhere in the world do we have media that paints such a grim picture of their own government or economy. Dissent is one thing, but negativity is another.  It is very difficult to find news in a Philippine newspaper that says, for example, that the Philippines is doing much better than any other nation. That is in stark contrast to any American newspaper, which routinely makes it appear that no nation on earth is better than the United States.

I am not talking about the truth.  The United States may not be the best country in the world. The Philippines may or may not be the worst country in the world. I am talking about perception. In the perception of most Americans, America is the best country in the world. In the perception of most Filipinos, the Philippines is the worst, if not the worst, then only a little better than, say, Bangladesh.

That is why I literally jumped for joy when I read this bit of news in our newspapers recently—Filipinos are the fourth largest group of readers in the world.  Yes, that news from GFK NOP was buried in the inside pages, but it appeared anyway.

The German firm GFK NOP is, according to its website, "among the top five largest market research organizations in the world.  In addition to 13 subsidiaries in Germany, it has more than 120 subsidiaries and affiliates in 61 countries.

What does GFK NOP say about us Filipinos? On June 15, "NOP world announced results of its Culture Score Media Habits Index offering a global perspective on the time consumers report watching television, listening to the radio, searching the Internet and reading.

The Philippines ranked second only to Thailand in number of hours spent watching TV.  We watch TV 21.0 hours a week, compared to Thailand (22.4) and the US (19.0).  That makes Filipinos the most electronic media-savvy (except for Thais) in the world.  Should we not be proud of that?

Of course, if you are one of those that think TV is the end of the world, you may other feelings about this finding, but I happen to be one of those that think That TV is a sign of progress. That we are up there with the rest of the world when it comes to electronic media is, to me, something to crow about. Even those, however, who think watching TV is bad for children because they might no longer read should think again.

NOP World also discovered that Filipinos spend 7.6 hours a week reading. That makes us a very literate people, beaten in this area only by Indians (10.7), Thais (9.4), and Chinese (8.0). Americans, by the way, rank below the global average in reading.

And how about this finding?  As far as using the internet outside the workplace goes, Filipinos are much better than Americans! We spend 9.8 hours a week on the internet, ranking 11th in the world.  In contrast, Americans spend only 8.8 hours a week, ranking 18th.  (The Taiwanese rank first)

We Filipinos are a great people when it comes to literacy, whether book literacy or media literacy or computer literacy.  Now, why in the world would we want to live elsewhere?

English Corner

Start:	Sep 11, '05 5:30p
End:	Sep 11, '05 7:00p
Location:	South School

English Corner

Start:	Sep 10, '05 5:30p
End:	Sep 10, '05 7:00p
Location:	North School

Reasons for Coming to China

A lot of people are asking me why I decided to come to China. I agree that it's a perfectly valid question. I would want to know why people are doing whatever it is they're doing too. I'd probably ask the same question if the situation were reversed. However, if you've heard it ten thousand times, it can get very tiring. That is why I've thought of making a list. In a way, it'll also be a way of seeing how far I've gone and if I'm really getting anywhere. So in no particular order, here goes:

1. I wanted to experience living on my own. I know this is taking it to the extreme. I'm living alone in a foreign country, whose language I cannot claim to speak well. But then again, it would be next to impossible to convince my family to let me get my own place and live alone in my own country.

2. I've always loved to travel. And I don't mean just go someplace for a week or two, be a tourist, take some pictures and go back home. I want to see how other people live their lives. How they think, what shaped them into the people that they are now. And I want to know these things firsthand. China is a good place to start (for reasons stated below).

3. I was really bored back home. Don't get me wrong. It was great to not worry about anything at all except getting to school on time and having something to talk about with my students. Wake up, go to class, meet some friends, go back home, play with my cousins, help them with their assignments, go to sleep, wake up again the next day... But I've been doing that every single day of my life. I want adventure! Which leads me to Reason number 4...

4. If I'm going to have an adventure, I might as well do it now while I'm still young. I can enjoy it so much more. No real responsibilities like keeping house, kids growing up and needing my attention. Now's the perfect time to be crazy.

5. I wanted to go some place quiet where I can actually sit down and write. There's that novel to finish. Like I always say, I need the solitude. I need to be able to think clearly and, this will sound like a cliche (and it is), connect with my inner self.

6. My mom will get a kick out of this, but I've decided to brush up on my Mandarin. I've always loved learning languages. When I had Spanish in college, I was ecstatic. It was the same way when I tried learning Cebuano. I'm in no way fluent in both languages but it was really fun. While I was given the perfect opportunity to learn Mandarin as a child, it left a sour taste in my mouth because everything was so stiff. It was forced on me and it felt more like a chore. Now, I'm beginning to appreciate it more.

7. This is a homecoming of sorts for me. Which is why I chose to come to China and not any other Asian countries. Aside from the fact that I already know a little Mandarin so it won't be as hard as say, going to Korea or Japan, I wanted to see how it is like to be Chinese in the fullest sense of the word. I know how I always complain that people here are saying I look Chinese all the time. I do not mean to reject my Chinese heritage. I'm proud of it. I'm a Filipino of Chinese descent. There. I just don't think I look Chinese. If I do, I'd be the first to admit it, but I don't. End of story.

 

Dinner with friends and Tour of TieLing Normal College

Start:	Sep 8, '05 7:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Shopping with Wendy

Start:	Sep 6, '05 2:00p
Location:	LongShou Market

bought: DVD player, MP3 player, lamp, wristwatch

Out with friends

Start:	Sep 7, '05 9:00p
Location:	TieLing City

How Well Do You Know Joni quiz

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Chinese lessons

Start:	Sep 7, '05 2:00p
End:	Sep 7, '05 3:30p
Location:	South School

with Wendy

Rest day!

Start:	Sep 5, '05
Location:	home

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 4, '05 8:00p
Location:	TieLing City

Dinner with friends

Start:	Sep 2, '05 7:00p
Location:	Rain's apartment

Ice cream with Rain and new friends

Start:	Sep 3, '05 8:00p
Location:	TieLing City

TieLing City at night

Dinner with Dale and mom, Linda and mom

Start:	Sep 3, '05 3:00p
Location:	Dale's house

Meeting with Wendy and Gao Shan

Start:	Sep 2, '05 10:00a
Location:	South School